psa for pnms. manners matter.
by: Momma Bear
PNMs,
If you ask me, or anyone else, to write a Rec, we are usually happy to do it for you. I write quite a few of them every year, and the majority are for UA. It's my Alma mater and I really do love my school. That said, I understand that with the evolution of communication and the internet, some pleasantries have fallen by the wayside, but I am absolutely shocked by the number of people who don't write a Thank You note.
Some of you may roll your eyes and say that it doesn't matter anymore, but I assure you it does. When someone agrees to write a Rec, they are doing a favor for you. They will take the time to get to know you through the information you give them, and write the best Rec that they possibly can. Taking a moment to scrawl a short note to say thank you will never go out of style.
Also, most Rec writers really like to know how your Recruitment turned out. Obviously, we don't expect to know on Bid Day with everything going on, but within a few days, it would be nice to send a quick e-mail letting us know how it went. Yes, we can find out other ways, but we shouldn't have to.
Just a bit of rambling from an Alumna. Good luck to all of you next month and as you start your college adventure.
#1 by: active
Mannerisms are important always, not just during rush!
PNMs - be kind and thankful to the women in your life helping you through the recruitment process, whether they be alum writing recs, girls on JBoard, Rho Chis, etc. Without these women you'd 100% have a completely different rush experience, most likely for the worst.
Comment#8 by: Alumna
I have a secret. I agree to write recs for girls every year, but here's how I do them.
I write the recs, just like I promised the girls I would. But then I sit on them and wait. I'm waiting to see who sends me thank you notes. Once I receive a thank you, I submit that girl's rec. You don't send a thank you note, yours doesn't get submitted.
I'm sure you think I'm mean, petty or snide, but it is just part of the process. It's how some of us weed out girls that just aren't ready to join a sorority. To be the "complete package" you must also have manners. :)
by: HuhJul 5, 2017 9:49:50 PM
Oh great! So you're the reason I didn't get into XYZ last year!
I kid. I sent thank you notes to everyone who wrote a Rec for me, and followed up to let them know how it turned out. My mother also writes Recs every year, so she made sure I knew what I should do.
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by: sadJul 6, 2017 12:20:54 PM
by: ActiveJul 6, 2017 12:41:12 PM
I sent all my handwritten thank you letters the week after bid day with an update of my rush included... I would be so upset if I found out someone did this to me
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by: WowJul 6, 2017 1:10:16 PM
Petty and some words that I won't say. Pretty pathetic if you ask me. Is that how "we" weed out those not worthy. Yes a thank you is very important but so is following through with what you promised. The saddest part is you sound very proud of yourself. Shame on you!
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by: pnmJul 12, 2017 12:03:24 AM
This is making me freak out, because I planned on sending my thank you notes out after bid day so that I could include where I ended up pledging... I'm really nervous now!!!!!!
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by: AlumnaJul 5, 2017 10:02:11 PM
by: @alumnaJul 6, 2017 1:12:35 PM
by: No MatterJul 6, 2017 1:48:28 PM
It doesn't matter what these outsider trolls post on here. They are not part of what we have and never will belong. You should follow your own mandate, trolls: "Let it go lady! College is over!"
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#10 by: Petty
I echo that method -- I simply don't have time for all the recs that are requested, so I have to prioritize.Maybe it is petty, but each rec takes about an hour to complete. For the number of requests I get I only bother with the ones who can be bothered to show some minimum standards. I have nothing to lose by not sending in a rec... I have my membership, and it isn't going to be revoked. This post is a heads up, do whatever you want with it. But just don't be surprised
by: AlumJul 6, 2017 1:24:55 PM
^ I agree completely! I am asked to write multiple recs ever year, and it does take about an hour to do them the right way, giving a girl her best chance.
So for you to not be able to spend 3 minutes on a handwritten thank you note, while you expect me to spend an hour on your rec, is ridiculous.
Here's how to do it girls:
1. Provide an alum with your resume and any pertinent info when you ask her to write a rec.
2. The next day drop a thank you note in the mail.
3. Regardless of where you pledge, send a note to every woman that wrote you a rec letting her know where you pledged. This can be a typed letter - you do not have to hand write this, but the thank you notes for the recs MUST be handwritten.
If you cannot follow these simple courtesies, do not be surprised when you are dropped early on from several houses. Remember, alums can send follow up notes in regards to your recs telling chapters we'd like to withdraw our recommendation for you.
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by: RecsJul 5, 2017 1:02:22 AM
It's always nice to know how your Recruitment went, especially if you went with my house and we are now sisters. Even if you didn't, we still like to know where you went, for curiosity, if nothing else!
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