Theta Chi failed LBO on phi psi

After months of aggressive valuation modeling, Theta Chi’s unsolicited LBO attempt of Phi Psi has officially stalled in due diligence. Despite Theta Chi’s attempts to lever up their social capital structure with questionable debt, Phi Psi remains solvent and hasn’t filed for Chapter 11—maintaining a strong balance sheet of mixers, morale, and market share. Rumor has it Theta Chi’s bankers overestimated the synergy potential and are now stuck in a liquidity trap of their own design. Phi Psi’s enterprise value remains robust, buoyed by consistent weekend cash flows and an elite risk-adjusted return profile. Meanwhile, Theta Chi’s limited partners are growing skeptical of the firm’s underwriting process and are demanding a reforecast of their social ROI. Analysts predict the deal is highly dilutive to Theta Chi’s brand equity with no tangible EBITDA expansion in sight. In short, Phi Psi stays frosty —Theta Chi stays making fake posts