wtf just happened? DEI supporters are doing something

At 4:44am the entire power grid around frat court failed immediately after an unnamed brother attempted to shotgun a twisted tea inside the sealed lower chamber of BOUSE. Security cameras captured only:

blinding blue light
37 raccoons fleeing northbound
a silhouette wearing sperrys with NO SOCKS

For exactly seven minutes every speaker on campus simultaneously played Mo Bamba backwards.

UNC administration calls this a “transformer malfunction.” Sure.