ivy, we’re breaking up

Dear ivy, I never thought this day would come but we’re breaking up. You’re drinks made from straight bartons, to your 17 year old regulars, I just can’t defend you anymore. We used to be cool, we used to have fun together… but now, it just doesn’t hit the same. Our spark has ended, the honeymoon phase is no more. I will miss our blackouts and I will miss those days that my shoes were black from floor ice outs. It just isn’t the same anymore. Have fun with the new younger girls you see (the minors who drink for free) but I have grown out of you. With love, everyone who isn’t a freshman

P.S. Anyone who works at ivy get a life i’m embarrassed for you 😂 all chopped anyways