idk this is scary

Everyone already knew DKE loved “white out” parties, but apparently the theme never ends. Word is their house has enough snow to open a ski resort. Rush events basically look like Aspen with fewer shirts and worse playlists.

One brother swears philanthropy is just “raising awareness for nosebleeds,” and pledges are now being evaluated on their stamina and nasal capacity. Nationals is pretending they don’t see it, but rumor has it the chapter’s winter formal is sponsored by Kleenex.

Congrats DKE — you’re not just brotherhood, you’re brotherhood on powder. ❄️👃🍺