The ULTIMATE and IRREFUTABLE Sorority Rankings

Here it is - the ACTUAL, REAL Sorority Rankings that EVERYONE can so totally agree on!!!

It’s that time of year again where actives start the pre-rush frenzy of rankings in a flimsy attempt to sway all those doe-eyed PNMs. If you are an incoming freshman planning on rushing, then look no further than all the fake propaganda posted right here on this site. It’s full of anonymous postings and comments made by girls with axes to grind, insecurity issues or alumni who physically graduated years ago, but never quite moved on. But don’t you worry, I’m here to help you cut through all the nonsense with the only resource you’ll need to make an informed decision. You can trust this list because I put a few of the key words in the title in bold, so you know that this ranking is genuinely bulletproof. This list takes into account the most relevant and important criteria: GPA, campus involvement, party rep, sisterhood, fashion sense, chapter retention, the frat bro perspective, leadership skills, coolest pin / coat of arms, if a girl from your sorority hooked up with or is dating my crush (or my ex dumped me for you) and, finally, whether I heard from my friend who was told by a girl on the same floor in her dorm that some random girl from a chapter was mean. So, without further ado:

1. Alpha Delta Pi

2. Gamma Phi Beta

3. Phi Mu

4. Kappa Alpha Theta

5. Chi Omega

6. Kappa Delta

7. Alpha Phi

8. Zeta Tau Alpha

9. Delta Gamma

10. Pi Beta Phi

11. Delta Delta Delta

12. Sigma Kappa

13. Alpha Chi Omega

14. Kappa Kappa Gamma

So, there you have it everyone – you’re most welcome. Good luck PNMs with your intro videos and feel rest assured on the accuracy of this list. I spent meticulous hours conducting interviews, researching the internet, deep diving the archives and consulting University officials. Or maybe I just pulled the names out of a hat. Either way, it’s not important because no matter what the methodology, all these ranking lists are completely subjective and a waste of your time, unless you are superficial and never plan on mentally graduating high school. The reality is here at Mizzou the margin between all the sororities is way thinner than some would have you believe. Every chapter has much to offer and you’ll do great no matter where you end up. Sure, they each have a general reputation, but each chapter truly has such a wide variety of girls that you’re sure to find your new crew. In fact, you’ll end up with good friends from the other sororities, and you’ll probably dislike girls from within your own chapter. At the end of the day, it’s perplexing why some are so preoccupied with a sorority to which they are not even a member. Best of luck ladies.