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rush disapppointment

by: Cami   

I just don't get it. My daughter is going through rush as I write this. She's pretty, smart (good grades), lots of activities, and a rec for almost every house; yet she only got 3 bids back ( out of 11) on the first preference day. I'd just like to understand why. I'm searching for something to say to her to help her through this. She's devastated and I'm so afraid this will undermine her confidence and ruin her Freshman year at Mizzou; something she was so looking forward too.

Posted By: Cami
Page 3 of 5
#21by: just wondering   
#21    

how your daughter is doing. She didn't drop, did she?

By: just wondering
#22by: @mom   
#22    

Tell her to hang in there and make sure the houses that she goes to know that she likes them and can see herself as a member. This isn't a time to be coy and standoffish, waiting to be courted. The houses have too many choices to chose girls that don't want their house.

By: @mom
#23by: alum   
#23    

Cami, You are right to ask these questions. Sadly this process is difficult for everyone because it's so competitive at Mizzou. Your daughter should be herself and give the houses that WANT HER a chance. It's too bad, but pnm's dont get to choose. Houses choose them, so give them a good reason. SMILE and be friendly and engaging. With all the houses having something wonderful to offer, she would enjoy any of them. Being Greek is a wonderful part of college. You should check our www.greekchat.com where there aren't any mean girls. I find it appalling how this site shows girls to putting each other down instead of pumping each other up. Please don't think this is the majority.
Best of luck to your daughter today. Hoping she has a good preference day. Love from one mom to another! Please post and let us know how it went!

By: alum
#24by: just a mom   
#24    

Your daughter sounds like mine. Your daughter is not alone.

By: just a mom
#25by: alum with 2 daughter   
#25    

Cami, obviously the negative post person has never had a daughter going through this stressful week. I am amazed that the PNM's can adjust to such hectic schedules of recruitment and looking their absolute best while being away from the security of their home, not to mention chatting it up with complete strangers. I can remember being so overwhelmed with all the beautiful girls going through Rush (as we called it) over 30 years ago. I was from a small town and didn't feel I had near what other girls had to offer a house. The girls in recruitment today come from homes with parents who want only the best for their daughters, and hope their daughter can find a niche in such a large university. That, my friend, is not being a helicopter parent. That is called LOVE.

By: alum with 2 daughter
#26by: GDI   
#26    

I wish the administrators at MU would read this string and realize the kind of misguided priorities they are promoting among students and parents with this Greek system.

By: GDI
by: Tigerbelle   

Why is GDI even on this site and so interested? Kinda freaky that someone so down on greek life is even following this.

By: Tigerbelle
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by: GDI   

Unfortunately, I have a daughter who is an upperclassman in a sorority. I try to keep up with what that's all about by visiting this site. She seems mostly happy about it but I've never understood the appeal of Greek system. Incidentally, the top sorority where I went to school over 30 years ago is not even there anymore. The rankings can change at the drop of a hat. Girls should remember that.

By: GDI
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#27by: Proud mama   
#27    

Cami,

How did things work out for your daughter? I hope that you are happy with the outcome!

By: Proud mama

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#28by: Just wondering   
#28    

I'd like to know, too!

By: Just wondering
#29by: momofmu   
#29    

Me Too!

By: momofmu
#30by: Cami   
#30    

Things turned out well. She had two choices in the end; she liked them both. She got her bid today and seems very happy with the outcome. I know she ended up in a good place and she'll make us all proud. Thank you to everyone who contributed to this discussion. I wrote my original post to try and understand the process and how it works. I understand the process better now but I still don't like it. I feel it undermines too many girls, takes away their self confidence and makes them think they're just not good enough. I feel for those girls who didn't get any invites back and were eliminated early on through no choice of their own. I don't think that's what the Greek system was designed to do. It's suppose to promote all women; build on their strengths and abilities and encourage them to be the best they can be. This system starts with tearing them down.That being said, I know that they can't take everybody; somebody has to be cut and therefore gets hurt in the process. I don't know what the answer is, but I know there has to be a better way of recruiting members. Maybe we should work on changing the system somehow. Thanks everyone for your concern and for listening. I had no idea, that one simple post would spark so much interest.

By: Cami

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