Best Way to Tell Someone They’re Second
by: happy
I am so happy with my pref schedule. I thought I’d be sad with my #1 dropping me, but it makes everything so much clearer.
I’m sad because I need to tell another house they aren’t for me, but don’t know how. I don’t want to be rude, but I need to make it clear.
Any help is appreciated!
#1 by: ‘
Commentby: @NoAug 15, 2020 11:59:58 AM
I mean the actives will do their best not to act awkward, but they & the PNM can feel awkward & it can be awkward. I’ve known girls who put us as #2 (based on pref convos) who ended up at my house and it can be kinda awk
Just be polite and say you’re unsure to your #2. We know what that means
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#2 by: Hi
Just say “I have loved your sisterhood throughout this week but I’m not sure this is where I feel at home. Plain and simple the active will probally ask you why is that and if you do want anything clarified you can do that or if not you can just say that you think you like another house a little more. Saying you are also unsure is a good option but the only thing about this is the active could think at the end you are going their house causing them to put you higher on their bid list. Best of luck and hope you find your home today!!!
#3 by: Guest
I disagree with the person above, I think it truly can change things. I know girls who didn’t tell their number two that they wanted another house and ended up getting their number two. It is kind of awkward, but I would just say that you loved getting to know more about them, but you see yourself fitting in better at a different house. It depends on the girls you talk to, some may try to convince you otherwise or some may just talk about other things until time is up
by: NoAug 15, 2020 9:44:25 AM
It really can’t change things, I think this is a fundamental misunderstanding of how bid matching works. You are either high enough on your #1’s bid list to get a bid or not. Where you are ranked on your #2’s list has literally no effect on this. Telling your #2 you are ranking them 2nd is totally unnecessary.
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#4 by: No
Do not tell your #2 house they are not for you unless you 100% will not accept a bid from them and plan on suiciding which I would not recommend, you can end up bid less. Tell house #1 you love them and feel they are home and express to them how much you want to be there. For house #2, tell them this week has been amazing and you feel so honored and blessed to have been invited to such a special pref ceremony and you are very torn as all the sororities you visited were wonderful.
by: YesAug 15, 2020 9:07:00 AM
by: This^^Aug 15, 2020 12:47:30 PM
I agree with 'No". Imagine that you tell you #2 pref that you just don't see yourself there, end up on the lower end of your #1's bid list and they pledge to quota before they reach your name and you are high on #2's list. The computer will match you with #2, because #1's pledge class is already filled. Now imagine showing up to House #2 on bid day after you've told them you are just not feeling it. Just follow "no's" advice and you'll be good no matter where you end up.
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#5 by: #2
Even if you tell your #2 that they're not for you, you may not be high enough on #1's list to get a bid from them, and then you've just told your #2 that you didn't want them. Definitely awkward on Bid Day. If you do end up with #2 and try and still don't feel it just make sure you don't initiate!!!
#6 by: Trutit
I wasn’t honest but got stuck with Alphi, who takes most of the leftovers because of their bad rep and gpa. I was never happy and ended up quitting although I made some great friends, who also quit. If you really don’t want a house, don’t take it and wait for next semester because they will all send out bids.
by: UmAug 15, 2020 12:03:41 PM
If she ranks 2 houses and signs the binding agreement (mraba) she is stuck with that bid for a calendar year & cannot cob
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by: NoAug 15, 2020 9:00:00 AM
I. D.o.n.t think if you say the house isn’t your best fit it makes it awk on bid day. You are going back to houses today that really want you. If you show up on bid day to that house everyone will be more excited than ever to see you.
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