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telling your #2 you don’t like them as much

by: pnm    

during pref how do we Be honest and tell our #2 we don’t like them as much? That sounds so awkward. could we just not be super reassuring and ask questions the whole time and then they would get the hint???? or do we have to say it outright? or could we just tell them we are still indecisive

Posted By: pnm
Page 1 of 2
#1by: .   
#1    

When I'm rushing a girl for pref I want the truth so we can rank her low since I know she won't be putting us first. Just say "I have been so impressed by this sisterhood and would be honored to be a part of it, but I'm going to put my other house first because I think it's the best fit for me."

By: .
#2by: why would you do that lol   
#2    

i wouldn’t tell them...you risk not getting a bid from either house this way. even if you don’t suicide bid, hearing this is going to make them rank you super low and if your top house doesn’t rank you high either you’re probably not going to get a bid. just be grateful for both houses and put your top house ranked as #1.

By: why would you do that lol
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by: nope   

That’s not true, if you pref 2 houses and as long as you don’t suicide bid, then you are guaranteed a bid from either of those houses. It’s best to be honest, whether you’re going them or not.

By: nope
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by: Lol   

That isnt now it works at all. You get to pref and you get a bid. If you arent in the first list at your top house you can still get them as quota addition. That isnt guaranteed but it's more likely morelikely. wont happen if you are high on your 2nd choice

By: Lol
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by: active   

If you go to pref and rank both houses you'll get a bid. But you can still end up at your #2 no matter what you say to them.

By: active
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#3by: No   
#3    

That’s wrong! The PNM will hey a bid from one of them if they maximize their options.

By: No
#4by: Not sure   
#4    

Not sure if you should tell them you are putting them 2nd because what if you end up there may be awkward.

By: Not sure
#5by: All   
#5    

All you have to say is “I really have loved you guys all week and I think your sisterhood is amazing but as of right now I can’t really she myself in this house”. This is good for two reasons 1. You say u don’t really want them and 2 because it gives the active the choice to ask you why you can’t see yourself here. You also in this example don’t say I’m putting you second. You just say as of right now you aren’t putting them first but You are open to hear what you have to say

By: All
by: More tact?   

I love this house but I’m not sure it’s my home.

I have loved every round with this house and I am feeling torn? Regardless, I know I would be happy having this house as my home.

Something like that?

By: More tact?
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by: active   

“I really enjoyed my time here and I think your sisterhood is amazing but I'm not sure yet if it's my home”

or

If you feel torn: “I really enjoyed my time here and I think your sisterhood is amazing but I'm currently feeling torn”

I don't see either one of those as being rude, personally. If you didn't love it, I don't think you need to say you loved it. I also think that saying that you would be happy having that house as your home is mixed messages.

By: active
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#6by: Truth   
#6    

I think it’s best to tell your #1 pick that they’re your top choice. I wouldn’t be able to tell the active rushing me in my runner up house that they’re my second choice. It’s hurtful and can’t be said politely.

By: Truth
by: yeah   

Yeah I agree. Seriously can't imagine saying that I don't want to be in the #2 house, especially since I might end up there depending on how things shake out.

By: yeah
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by: Eh   

Eh, as an active idrc if a girl puts my house second because there's plenty of other girls who will put my house first. I want every girl to go where they feel the most at home, if it's not my house then that's fine! I wouldn't be offended if a girl said my house wasn't her first choice, so long as she wasn't rude about it. If she was nice and still engaged I wouldn't care.

By: Eh
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by: @Eh   

Maybe the most popular houses can replace any girl who puts their house as #2 with a girl who put them as #1, but this sin't always the case and girls do end up with their #2.

And then it's kinda awkward to have told them that you don't want to be a sister there. I mean they'll make it work, but it's still kinda awkward.

By: @Eh
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#7by: active   
#7    

a nice way of saying it is that you're unsure and you think you've found your home elsewhere

By: active
by: another active   

I would just leave it as unsure. If someone tells me they are unsure, I know that they are politely trying to tell me that they see themselves somewhere else.

By: another active
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#8by: Yea   
#8    

Not saying they’re your first choice is saying they’re your second choice by default. Some things are left
better off left unsaid. I’m not suggesting deception or dishonesty either. Just don’t address it.

By: Yea
by: active   

Yup, sorority girls get it. You don't need to spell out the obvious.

By: active
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#9by: Um   
#9    

Unless you’re suiciding I would set yourself up well in both... it’s not uncommon to get #2

By: Um

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by: active   

Completely agree with this.

And I agree with others who have said if you say you're unsure and leave it at that, we get the hint that it's a polite way to say our house is not your #1. But it leaves room for you to go to your #2 and be set up well if that situation occurs.

By: active
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#10by: Ugh!   
#10    

How about this? You got invited to 2 houses. Go to both, be gracious to both and make your selection on your MRABA. It’s 50-50 you end up with your 2nd choice and how awkward is that? I’d be happy to get a bid and to be a part of Greek Life. PERIOD!

By: Ugh!

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