rush has killed my self confidence

I hate reading posts like this! Rush is a grueling process in many ways, but do not let change who you are or how you feel about yourself. Solutions: get a good night's sleep, call your family, call your high school best friends, work out, make sure you eat enough and stay hydrated. This will be over soon.

Literally exactly same. I loved my schedule for philanthropy and was dropped by all but 1. I’m in state great gpa cute I think and felt so comfortable and good about so many houses. And got dropped really badly. Only have 1 left. It’s killed my confidence

I’m sorry girl! :( There’s nothing wrong with you! We can only take so many girls. PLEASE give the houses you didn’t think the conversations were as easy at a chance! They’re inviting you back because they can see you in their sisterhood! I hate repeating trust the process but genuinely, trust the process! You’ll find your home and everything will all work out. Good luck! 💖

I think sometimes during the early rounds of rush the conversations that seemed really good are ones where the actives were really adept at keeping the conversation going even if they weren't really getting to know you all that well. Sometimes the conversations that you remember as harder were harder for "you" meaning you were doing more of the work. Some of the conversations that you felt were "easy" and "flowed well" might have not been memorable for the actives which is why you might not have been in the top of their list. Stick with the houses you have left. You might really be surprised if you put in the work what true relationships can develop.

This was true for me even after I joined my house. I still had to put in the work to develop relationships and get to know people. I went to my house everyday and introduced myself to people. I asked questions and listened. . .before long, I truly found my people. I couldn't be happier.

Not trying to invalidate your experience, but if it wasn’t gonna be rush that killed your confidence, it would be something else. Life crushed my self confidence. You can only get stronger.

There’s nothing wrong with you. One girl does not get to decide if you stay. Picture the wizard of oz- literally one or a few people back behind the curtain pulling all the strings. The girls you spoke to were probably equally pissed you were dropped. They probably pulled for you. But it doesn’t matter. There’s a small group in each house and a handful of alums-they have the power and are looking for a certain demographic. It’s ridiculous.

Remember that how you act with one house does get around to the others. If you’re texting, not paying attention, slouching, etc on one or more of your zoom calls with a house you’re not interested in, that will get back to the other houses and could cause them to drop you even if you had a great experience talking to them. Not saying any of y’all specifically did this, because there’s tons of reasons a house may drop you, but I’m best friends with the recruitment chair in my chapter and I know they all talk and that it’s definitely been an issue with PNMs this semester.

Another thing to remember is if you felt at home at a house, it’s because they put on a great rush. Top houses have top members who are able to keep the conversation flowing and fun and that’s a testament to how good they are at recruiting.

The thing is, you only see your own convo. Maybe the girls in the houses you like were amazing at bringing out the best in people and had to work harder with you. You would never know. That shouldn't crush you. Not everyone is perfect at this type of thing and THAT'S OK! All the houses are good and you're lucky that you still have some houses that love you. Some girls have been dropped completely. Please try to find a new favorite and realize that any house will be an amazing sorority experience.

I find humor and truth in most of these comments. As in life, the chess board is already set. Some know how to play the game better than others. Most of you girls are playing checkers. Do the high seniors a favor, tell them to go to the Rush Doctor before blindly going through the process. My success rate is marvelous. Xoxoxo ...good luck in your journey home.