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last choice

by: Super Sad   

So I gotta bid from my last choice house. Should I drop it? I don’t think I fit in well and feel very uncomfortable.

Posted By: Super Sad
Page 1 of 2
#1by: if you dont fit in then   
#1    

yes

By: if you dont fit in then
by: well   

NPC requires you to list all your pref homes on your post-pref list in order to receive an automatic bid (barring any truly awful behavior by you at pref parties). Your choice to list all your homes, while commendable, did not result in your getting a bid to a more favored home. The better action for you now is to live with what has been given rather than cry over your losses. Move on. Tomorrow is another day.

By: well
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#2by: no    
#2    

It happens more than you think. Just try it out... you can't rush until next year anyway

By: no
#3by: Truth   
#3    

If you can't find a group of friends in 400 girls, the problem isn't the sorority.

By: Truth

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#4by: no   
#4    

You have already taken a bid from someone else so why not stick with it through the retreat and a few weeks? You could not have possibly met even a fraction of the sisters yet and you will get to know your pledge sisters as well. Rush is stressful and filled with a lot of measuring up. Now, relax and give your new house a chance. With so many actives and large pledge classes, everyone will not be your best friend but you will find your people.

You will need to examine what is making you uncomfortable: if it is behavior that is dangerous or harmful, you need to give distance and protect yourself. If it is that you think you are better than your pledge sisters or the actives, you should do some soul searching. Every last house is filled with amazing women and this house has more than that. It is filled with amazing women who saw something in you that they admired. Stop thinking about the houses that let you go, their loss. They will not bid you next year if they let you go this year. I would say, give your new house a chance. You may find that the process worked after all. You will have an amazing fall filled with mixers, parties, sisterhood events, formals, and an unrivaled orientation to the campus. You will not get that as an independent.

If you still feel like you don't fit in a month or so, you don't have to initiate. At this point, there is no rush to drop. It is hard but you should give it a chance. Your best friends are likely in that house!

By: no
by: PS   

want to add, it is normal and OK to be a little sad. You had something in your mind and now you have to let that go. Be sad but don't be a downer and don't be rude to your new sisters. Do your best to look for a like minded friend, she is there somewhere. You house is one of the best in the entire country and they have good taste in picking PNMs, they got you! Now take this opportunity that you have been given and make the best of it. There are many dozens of other sad girls tonight who do not have the chance to get to know a sisterhood.

By: PS
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#5by: Not Just A Little   
#5    

I wasn’t just a little sad, I was sobbing all day because I don’t feel comfortable here. During rush I had to fake my way through conversations at this house, so they don’t even know me for the real me. Even being on the retreat I can’t find anybody that I am vibing with.

By: Not Just A Little
by: be nice   

Seeing as you can't go through rush again until next year (this includes COB and SK) I would stick it out for a while. You don't have to initiate, and once the social calendar, football games, sisterhood events, big/little, etc. get going you can get a real feel for the house.

Nothing is guaranteed with trying again next year, and giving it a little more time won't hurt. Also, if you do drop/as you give it a shot, treat your new sisters with respect and put effort into your interactions. If you are the debbie downer who is sure she is different from them who doesn't try or engage, they will remember and if you go through again next year there's a decent chance they will tell their friends in other chapters how much you brought everyone down and that you're a risk to pledge class morale.

By: be nice
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by: Character check   

Has it occurred to you that perhaps others in your new member class may be having a hard time connecting with you because they don’t know how to interact with the awkward girl who spent the last 24 hours sobbing? The sororities at Alabama are remarkably similar. If you cannot connect where you landed, then chances are you would have a hard time anywhere. Drop if you must, but don’t ruin everyone else’s experience.

By: Character check
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by: ?   

Maybe because you’re checking Greek rank while on retreat? “It’s been one day and I don’t like anyone here yet.” You’re still stuck on the fact that they were your “last choice” instead of seeing them for who they are which is a group of college girls just like you who came to Bama to have a good time and make friends and yeah raise money for philanthropy and study a little too probably.

By: ?
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by: Reality   

Don’t worry. After watching you sob all day, they know the real you and are probably just as sad as you are that they gave you one of their valuable spots in their pledge class

By: Reality
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by: uhh   

Well, that’s your problem, not the sorority’s. All you are doing is being a big crybaby because you didn’t get the house you want. You know something? A lot of girls are in your shoes. So many girls didn’t get any of their top 5 choices. But you know what else? They stuck with the sorority they did get. They made it work. They didn’t cry all day during bid day and their retreat wishing for something else. You are proving to the sorority that you’re not mature. In life, you SELDOM GET WHAT YOU WANT. You’ll get a job that sucks. You’ll have coworkers that suck. You’ll have to take your kids to things you couldn’t care less about. You can’t sit there and cry all day and ruin things for everybody else just because YOU are inconvenienced. The girls are probably put off by your consistent crying and whining. It’s sorority rush. IT’S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. There are amazing girls in every single house.

By: uhh
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#6by: .   
#6    

There. Are. So. Many. Girls. Who. Wish. They
Were. In. Your. Place. I recommend that every time you think about how sad you are, think about how sad you'd be if you had no sorority at all.

By: .
#7by: T   
#7    

This happens to girls all the time and by sophomore year they can’t imagine being anywhere else.

By: T
#8by: First   
#8    

Two years ago, i got my favorite house that I loved since IWTs, but my retreat was a disaster.

Just got paired with girls that I didn’t click with, while they were all becoming friends.

I was a mess that first two weeks, wondering what I did.

The feelings you are having could be going on even if you were in your favorite house.

There are 400 girls. And despite GR trying to stereotype, am sure there are girls in your PC you will find as friends, even if you are looking for something different than that stereotype.

Give it time.

By: First
#9by: Mean   
#9    

Wow. Y’all are so mean.

By: Mean
by: Nah   

There won't be much sympathy for a post like this. Not feeling like you click right away is one thing, but sobbing in front of your new sisters who worked their butts off all year to extend these bids is another. Especially when there are so many girls who get released completely and would love to be in any chapter. And especially when all the houses have so much to offer to their girls. Also, it's only been 1 day.

By: Nah
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#10by: Personally   
#10    

I think this is a troll.

Sobbing all day? Posting her sadness and tears to Greek Rank while she is supposedly on her retreat?

Nah.

Troll post.

By: Personally
by: Yep   

I agree.

By: Yep
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by: nope   

Not a troll post but okay

By: nope
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by: Yep   

Obvious troll post. No one is this dumb, and no one is on Greek Rank on their retreat.

By: Yep
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