feeling left out
by: new memberI feel like everyone in my sorority has already made so many friends/formed groups and I literally have no friends. I try to sit with different people at meals and stuff and make conversation with everyone but everyone just doesn't seem nice or welcoming or will have a convo for 5 min. both of my temp. bigs also don't contact me (one never texted me after bid day and the other texted me one time and then didn't respond again) is this normal to still feel like this weeks after bid day? I liked my sorority during rush but feel so left out and its so hard to really get to know people in pledge classes of over 150 girls. I really don't want to drop but also don't know if I should initiate if I don't love my sorority and feel like I don't fit it :(
Commentby: UmSep 4, 2017 6:41:54 PM
Pretty sure going to college is a bigger commitment with a much better return in investment than a sorority so comparing those two is ridiculous.
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by: BoooooSep 5, 2017 2:20:58 AM
Ive never met a freshman that said "wow college is awkward I'm going to drop out"
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by: adviceSep 9, 2017 1:21:06 PM
Since you are reaching out on here, I'm going to suggest you reach out to your new member sisters. Suggest going to the game together. If she already has plans, ask someone else or see if you can go in a group. See if anyone wants to go for a run some morning. See if anyone else is in your major and wants to study together. If your new member adviser hasn't already done this, suggest that maybe she could make a list of all the girls and some things about each so you can find commonality. A sorority is just like any other social situation. You only get out of it what you put in and that takes effort. Another thing that will help is when you get started working on projects like homecoming. Sometimes it's easier to get to know someone when you're working toward a common goal. But don't quit. Make the house your home.
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by: YesSep 4, 2017 4:01:10 PM
This^^^
If you're more of an introvert it is so hard. Stick with it, but talk to your exec person over new members. She wants you to be happy and can help.
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#5 by: Me
What your feeling is very common and this exact thing happened to me when I was a new member. Now here I am a year later and I have made a lot of friends in my sorority and know everyone's names. Building friendships takes time, so it's important to get involved as much as you can and expose yourself to all different kinds of girls.
#8 by: its ok
hey girl, it seems that people on this thread arent being very helpful and im sorry about that. im a second year in my sorority and i felt the SAME way that you did last year. what youre feeling is completely and totally normal, in fact theres probably about 50 other girls in your PC who feel the same way. When this happened to me last year, i made an effort to go to every meal and ask for peoples numbers, basically invited myself to things. it sounds annoying i know, but i want you to realize that you are not being intentionally unincluded. the only way to make friends is to put yourself out there, sit with different people, ask them what their plans are/go out with them, ask them to see a movie or even something as simple as walking to meals together. I made a groupchat of all the girls in my sorority who lived in my dorm last year, and i would always walk to meals with the girls in my dorm and it created an instant friendship. remember, a lot of girls in your PC are nervous, some are probably a little awkward as introductions are always kinda hard. theres so many of you, but you will find a group of girls soon enough. just stick it out, give it until initiation. if you still feel this way by initiation time, definitely talk to your new member educator/older girl you trust, and ask them what you should do. remember, exec is there to help you! as far as those temporary bigs go, definitely tell your new member eductor about it. thats not okay of them to do. im so sorry. things will definitely get better! they did for me and it will for you too!
#9 by: Active
#10 by: Me
Im very introverted, and I never ended up feeling very close with my sorority. I like the people I met, and there are many that I care for and they care about me... but I'm not the sorority girl I thought I'd be. I got alum status, so you don't have to quit if being in a sorority is important to you
by: .Sep 8, 2017 4:12:09 PM
by: YupSep 9, 2017 2:03:13 PM
Just going to chime in with this poster because I was in a similar place. I never felt truly close with girls in my sorority and I definitely didn't find my future bridesmaids or anything like that.
I also rushed as a sophomore and ended up joining an old row house but feeling like I was just "filler" which probably wasn't the best position to be in. But as a freshman you have plenty of chances to bond with girls in your pledge class, especially the ones in your dorm or in your classes!
Just stick with it. A year from now you'll probably look back and be amazed that you ever felt the way you do right now. I'm graduating soon and I wouldn't have done a thing differently, even though I didn't have the sorority experience I thought I would. I've gotten a lot out of it (leadership, making memories, etc.) even though I never really found a friend group or made super close friendships.
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by: Aunt GinSep 9, 2017 3:10:04 PM
Alum status is very difficult to get. VERY difficult. Being a 5th year senior or having unusual family circumstances is about the only way.
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by: .Sep 4, 2017 4:35:01 PM
Quitting shouldn't be the immediate reaction when you join something new and it feels awkward. Otherwise, half of the freshman would leave the university in the first month. Let's give the OP some real advice to help her through a rough spot to be able to experience her sorority!
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