psa for pnms. manners matter.
by: Momma Bear
PNMs,
If you ask me, or anyone else, to write a Rec, we are usually happy to do it for you. I write quite a few of them every year, and the majority are for UA. It's my Alma mater and I really do love my school. That said, I understand that with the evolution of communication and the internet, some pleasantries have fallen by the wayside, but I am absolutely shocked by the number of people who don't write a Thank You note.
Some of you may roll your eyes and say that it doesn't matter anymore, but I assure you it does. When someone agrees to write a Rec, they are doing a favor for you. They will take the time to get to know you through the information you give them, and write the best Rec that they possibly can. Taking a moment to scrawl a short note to say thank you will never go out of style.
Also, most Rec writers really like to know how your Recruitment turned out. Obviously, we don't expect to know on Bid Day with everything going on, but within a few days, it would be nice to send a quick e-mail letting us know how it went. Yes, we can find out other ways, but we shouldn't have to.
Just a bit of rambling from an Alumna. Good luck to all of you next month and as you start your college adventure.
#11by: ???
What if you don't know where the women who wrote your recs live? I contacted mine through email and I always thanked them several times throughout the rec process and after they've submitted it. Is this okay? I don't not send thank you cards because I'm rude, I don't send them because I'm not given an address and I'm not sure if these women, who I don't personally know, would want to give that information out.
Commentby: Hi
by: @hi
by: l
i asked my rec. writer's by email if they could just provide me with their mailing address so I could send them a thank you note their way. None of them refused to give it with me and usually responded with "Oh that's so sweet! My address is blah blah blah.."
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by: Thank you
Thank you! I think everyone agrees a thank you is warranted and shame on someone who doesn't thank you appropriately. It is sad however for someone to not write the rec as promised. Take the opportunity to let the girls know if you decide to not write a rec and why you decided not to write on. It gives the pnm a chance to get another rec and also teaches them the proper etiquette for recommendations.
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by: RecentAlum
Never offer a rec and then not write it. However if someone approaches me and asked me to write a rec, I will say please provide me with the cereals never offer a rec and then not write it. However if someone approaches me and asked me to write a rec, I will say please provide me with the materials and I will review it and let you know when I have sent the rec to the chapter. If you can't bother to write a simple thank you within two weeks, I will just simply just leave the rec box blank and don't include any information about their accomplishments on the form ... allowing the chapter to read between the lines. The person was rude or ungrateful, I don't write that on the form, I just write "use your own judgement" Technically done my duty to the PNM....but a savvy rec chair Knows fully well what this means.
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by: .But
You know what? Sending a thank you note right away, and not waiting, sometimes spurs someone into action. I make a promise to do it, I haven't got around to it yet, I get a nice thank you note for it, and suddenly it's a priority!
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by: Yes
This is a perfect way to handle it. Then just follow up sometime after Bid Day letting us all know how it went for you, even if it is just by e-mail.
Quick, neat, and won't even cost you an extra stamp.
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by: Pc15
This had a letter with the rec pac, then sent a thank you card a week later to prompt. Did not think to send a card or note after BD day.
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#15by: MB
I also write my recs and sit on them waiting for the thank you notes. 90% of girls send me thank yous of some sort. Those that don't get a post-it note stuck to their rec alerting the advisor and rush chair that it is a courtesy rec, which means I upheld my end of the deal to write the rec, but I am not endorsing the girl. So the rec becomes null and void.
You rushees need to understand that you do not get to pick your house - the houses pick you. You have ZERO power until pref, so until then, be kind to everyone that helps you along the way, especially those writing your recs. We have a lot more power than you may think.
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by: It's okay
You're fine. "Respond in kind" has always been the guiding rule. So if you and she communicated through email only, a nice, thoughtful email is perfectly appropriate.
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