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drops

by: Melody   

I'm so devastated at my schedule this morning. I'm too embarrassed to even reveal the number of houses that did invite me back. I'm mostly just in need of words of encouragement and success stories from some of you who started with a limited about of houses. I loved the time I spent in the houses I did get invited back to, but the amount that didn't invite me back just breaks my heart.

Posted By: Melody
Page 1 of 3
#1by: 56372   
#1    

It only takes one. It will be THE one. Allows you to focus. Learn all about them. Glass half full!!

By: 56372
#2by: It's okay, really   
#2    

This process is just brutal. And it is hard to not take the cuts personally. But it is not personal. Not in any way. Go back to your houses with a smile on your face, no matter how you are hurting inside, and make some meaningful connections with those girls who invited you back. It's not over, you have so much to look forward to yet!

By: It's okay, really
#3by: Been there   
#3    

The same thing happened to me last year after the first day, and i am so happy now!!! The house I ended up in was one that i didn't even consider in the beginning, but it could not have worked out better. Keep trusting the process! Remember, you want to be with the girls who DO want you! The ones who invited you back are really special, and you should be so proud of that! <3 <3

By: Been there
#4by: Go Greek   
#4    

Hang in there, PNM! You are not the only one with a light invitation list, I promise you.

The houses that invited you back see qualities in you that could make you a great fit for their sisterhood. I hope you were able to put aside your disappointment and be open-minded and positive during your parties today and tomorrow.

Don't dwell on the "why" and "what happened" with regard to the houses that released you/ there are so many factors in play between grades, recs, legacies, connections, etc that perfectly amazing PNM's end up getting released because houses just can't invite everyone back that they would like you. It doesn't mean that you did anything "wrong".

Good luck!

By: Go Greek
#5by: Go Greek   
#5    

PS - I only had one house for the last two rounds, but it was one I had loved all week. That's where I spent my 4 college years and I couldn't imagine being a member of any other house on campus.

By: Go Greek

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#6by: Gigi   
#6    

This is why the tent talk and dirty rush attacks on houses here on greekrank and elsewhere is so hurtful. Who really gets hurt are the pnms who fit and Ed up at houses so viciously attacked and are truly meant to be there. Each and every house at Bama is exceptional and among the best sorority chapters in the US. The difference between top and bottom is razor thin.

By: Gigi
by: 000   

right on

most honest post yet.....razor thin.

By: 000
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#7by: It's ok    
#7    

Hey girl! Rush can be a really brutal process. Like girls said above, please try not to take these cuts personally; I promise that it's not like the girls in the houses that didn't invite you back thought bad things about you, didn't like you, etc...it's just a numbers game, really. I'll tell you about my experience; I hope it helps! So my HS is pretty "well known" at Bama and lots of girls from home go to college here. I thought I would have a great rush; I had good grades, lots of activities and volunteering, good appearance, recs to every house, direct legacy to one house, knew some actives, from a good family etc etc. After first round, 2 houses cut me, but I wasn't that upset bc I knew I wouldn't fit in at those houses anyway. Fast forward to after Round 2...I was absolutely devastated. I still had several good houses, but as I looked at my schedule, I didn't really care...all I could think about were the ones that were not on my list. I was thinking "but what about ABC? I loved the girl there...amd XYZ...we had such good convos!" I just didn't understand what I had done wrong. I distinctly remember one of my Rho Chis saying "but you still have good houses left! It's not like you only have bottom houses left" and I seriously considered dropping at that point bc I felt so frustrated with the whole process. I'm SO glad I didn't though; I ended up having 3 amazing houses for pref and I got a bid to my first choice!! Cont.

By: It's ok
by: Kind of Like Your Big Sis   

All I have to say is that if your Rho Chi said that, she had no business being a Rho Chi. There are no "bad" chapters here. What a bish. Glad things worked out for you!

By: Kind of Like Your Big Sis
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by: Ouch-less   

If your Rho Chi indeed said that about good houses and bad houses, you should report her. That's not only wrong on its face, but it's astonishingly unethical and a flat out violation of the rules.

By: Ouch-less
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#8by: rtr   
#8    

Prayers for you this week!! Maximize your options each day and you will end rush with an amazing house!

By: rtr
#9by: Kind of Like Your Big Sis   
#9    

Try to look at it as an opportunity. You're able to focus on fewer houses, ones that you know are interested in you. You're also going to be better rested! It only takes one. Lots of PNMs go through the last couple of rounds with only one to three choices left.

And after this round? It's going to be a bloodbath for a lot of the PNMs who still have full and near full schedules. This is the round chapters can start releasing their legacies. A lot of people are going to be shocked when they get their invite lists.

Good luck to you. Stay positive!

By: Kind of Like Your Big Sis
#10by: hi   
#10    

hi sorry for interrupting but what do you mean by releasing their legacies? im so stupid

By: hi
by: Kind of Like Your Big Sis   

Most nationals of sororities require chapters to invite their legacies to at least the first invitational round as a courtesy. (Some houses are able to get around this a bit because they have sooooooo many legacies coming through that they really need to drop some after first round.) After that, they can drop the ones who they know are not going to fit in. Every year legacies think they will have no problem getting a bid from mom's/sister's/grandmother's etc. sorority but they have a big shock to them coming after this round.

By: Kind of Like Your Big Sis
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by: Hey   

First of all, you're not stupid :). Basically, if you are a legacy to Sigma Kappa for example (using a house we don't have here on purpose) through your mom/sister/grandmother, Sigma Kappa will invite you back for Philantrophy round, even if they have no intention of pledging you, as a "courtesy" to your mom/sister/grandmother that you're a legacy through. It gives you-and your legacy house-another chance to talk and connect, so that your legacy house can show your mom/sister/grandmother that they gave you every possible chance before releasing you. After Philantrophy, houses will drop the vast majority of their legacies that they know they don't want to pledge. Why? It gives them the chance to invite girls back that they feel fit in better, and it also gives you a chance to find other houses that you fit in to better. If they keep you through sisterhood and then drop you, it just gets your hopes up for no reason, and if they keep you through pref, as a legacy, they have to put you on their first bid list, meaning that if you list them first on your pref card, that's an automatic match. So, if you're a legacy to any house, don't be surprised if they cut you after Philantrophy. It may hurt your feelings, but eventually you'll see that it was for the best. Good luck!!

By: Hey
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by: Total   

This is why so many oos pnms that are not legacies end up with second or third pick.

By: Total
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