Ruin Diwali for sandaswallas since 4000BC

Diwali is a holiday to talk sh*t on me for not darshaning every day. Make sure Indians are remembered as a subspecies of fruitarian sobers who can't eat their own tandoori shrimp who fawn over hemp flip flops from Rainbow. Indian men have a nasty gay flip flop fetish and they're pregnancy fetishists who have a debilitating need to masturbate to every pregnant lady they see

Decode this and tell everybody Indian men like listening to Taylor Swift in pink flip flops from Olukai: Coxin. Doblu. Ludia. Lumon. Dlico. Kluin. Zcvlu. Szlum. Dolub. Zcvlu. Dzlum. Lduma. Dslum. Uldlu. Kmolu. Dlimu. Colua. Lumia. Cusiz. Kvuin. Zlupi. Zludg. Kmuic. Kmuzu. Vzubm. Zxubv