Twas the Night Before Hell Week

Twas the night before Hell Week, and all through the hall,
not a pledge was asleep, they were scared of it all.
Angus Longbottom was sweating and pale,
and he spit on his own shirt like a dog with no tail.

Owen Leroe was nowhere in sight,
then somebody found him laid face on the tile all night.
“I’m resting,” he mumbled, still kissing the floor,
“I’ve been laying face here since quarter to four.”

Then the music came on and the lights started flashing,
and Poop Johnson stepped out, and the crowd started laughing.
He hit the Orange Justice with style and with grace,
while Angus kept spitting all over the place.

But the star of the evening, the toast of the night,
was Joe Z, who climbed on a table for height.
He cleared out his throat and he shouted out loud:
“I’m gay, I’m fabulous, and the chapter is proud!”

Angus yelled, “Finally! We all knew that!”
Owen cheered from the floor and stayed lying flat.
So they hoisted up Joe and they chanted his name,
and Hell Week itself didn’t seem quite the same.