The Haze Gone Hysterical

So apparently Pikapps got kicked off because one of the pledges took “brotherhood bonding” way too literally and made everyone do a trust fall off the porch into a baby pool filled with Monster Energy and ice cubes 💀

Then someone decided it’d be funny to light the letters on fire for “dramatic effect,” but the wind blew it straight into the landscaping mulch. The Bloomington Fire Department pulled up mid–‘Sweet Caroline’ and the guys tried to convince them it was a “controlled vibe.” 😭

To make it worse, their president allegedly tried to hide the evidence by spraying Febreze everywhere — which just made the whole house smell like burnt citrus and shame 💅

By Monday, someone had posted a TikTok of the whole thing titled “Pikapps Apocalypse,” and nationals didn’t even call. They just sent a single email that said “stop.” 💀