What's the deal with this Dean Habeeb Guy?

Anyone know what the deal is with this guy Dean Habeeb in Beta? I'm a freshman and every time I go out I'm left wondering about the mystery that is Dean Habeeb.

My first party this spring I entered to find Dean on the DJ Booth wearing aviator sunglasses while shotgunning 2 beers at the same time. Who does that? Also, I tried to start a conversation with him, to which he replied "be gone wench!" and slapped my drink out of my hand. I tried once more, but he simply ignored me in favor of a far more beautiful girl.

His dance moves are hypnotizing. His eyes are like two oceans filled with sunshine. His smile and impressive stature make me feel at home. But for some reason, he does not like me. Is it me? Am I not pretty enough? I need to get to the bottom of this asap before some girl sweeps him off his feet, because it is inevitable.

Anyone who knows Dean, or how to contact him please let me know. I want the Habeeb. I need the Habeeb.