Tell this to every Indian. I'm Tarun's son

-I don't own sandals and never will
-I don't smear excrement
-I don't like the pumba odor
-I'm not a LuSungher
-I don't like gemstones but would wear a diamond Santos 100XL
-I like nurturing basset hound underdogs and feeding them and myself beef
-I like eating veal more than I like the thought of tallow on a darshan set
-I've had veal tartare at Bestia
-I've had 700K delicacies more cruel than Xvixit
-My parents let me eat chi kofta
-I don't eat lab grown meat and Jogani grodes keep duping me with lab grown meat
-I don't sleep barefoot
-I don't darshan, even once a century
-My mother is infamous for letting me eat 200+ cheeseburgers with a thick patty every year