corpus manifesto

Hey guys, its clark corpus the alter ego of corpus clark (my main ego couldnt bring himself to shed light on the truth), i am writing here today in support of my dear friend, my savior, my supreme leader, my lover, my everything meatball matt, i cant sit idle anymore and watch him take all the blame when it should be me. This manifesto has been in the making since april 1st, 1984 when i was born on april fools unlike april fools this is nothing but a joke. since i first stepped foot on campus (corpus Christi college) on the brisk autumn of 1997 i knew things had to change. I saw clear injustices and cardinal sins being committed in the ubc frat village (it wasnt built yet, i have premonition how do you think i was able to make statements about things that never happened i foresaw them in my dreams 10 years earlier). Nonetheless I decided to join kappa sigma as not just a pledge but a beacon of light in a system desperately needing reform, when i first laid eyes on meatball it was love at first sight and i knew we would be able to make the necessary changes together hand in hand. i knew the changes needed were drastic so i had to employ even drastic measures to make sure my vision came to fruition. I spent 20 long years at corpus taking 0.5 credits a semester to have enough time to work on the things that truly matter such as making my beloved ksig touse. I started by bidding every single soul that stepped in as i knew there was strength in numbers. The more homosexual they were the better, I neeeeeeeded the girlies on my side and as every pledge class came and went none of them built a house that was ready for the change, that all changed this year i knew it was the year of change. I fabricated everything aganist phi delt they were too much of a threat, we needed as much funding as possible to be touse so we got rid of psi u as they ruin our ticketed party profit shares, i employed houses such as alpha delt, dke and fiji for ifc due to their lowkey nature i knew they wouldnt interrupt my plans. sigma chi didnt need any intervenetion as they are bound to drag themselves down without external intervention, theres no point even talking about beta as theyre not even in the village. anyways as i see my kappa sigma comrades together i felt a strong desire to bring them as many sororities as possible (ACF triple date with kappa,aphi and adpi incomin!!!) so i worked tirelessly day and night to make that happen. it was hard grueling work and it definietely wasnt honest work either, but it was worth it at the end to cleanse the village of bouse-induced injustice and sin. I take full responsibilty for the events of this semester and expect extreme gratitude to fill my man boob stricken chest with pride.

Thank you for your time,

AEKDB