Absolute TouseFest 2026

Just started registering the absolute banger of a function gathering all the best pledgemasters in one place. Even sororities out there. The way abby Howard (fscl mogger) went a full hour over her time so she could yap about hazing was so tuff. Made me want to go haze some pledges immediately. Hope ksig pledge eds can bounce back for junior rush next year because now who’s gonna put all these pnms in their place? Bad day to be a hazing chapter (tm-that last guy who spoke). I do want to sincerely thank the Touse beta speaker who went last for cutting basically all the activities in his section because without that the session would’ve went until 5:30. Topping off the great sandwich lunch was exhilarating as we got to hear from the only people more incompetent than fscl: the deans office and osrr. These absolute ferda monsters can’t even handle basic one person cases in less than 4 months before they put YOU on probo personally for the rest of college, and they truly showed their drunk acumen in their incoherent presentation. I absolutely LOOOOVEE that they scheduled ts for 9 in the morning just so I could go out on Friday. IFC continues to provide some of the best squid material known to man.