Frat Descriptions: A Thread

Beta- Circus clowns of fraternity row. Can't function without a serious bowl rip. Daddliest of the dad bods. Maybe it's from all that Betaraid we drink, maybe it's from that 2nd string Offensive Lineman gig back in the HS days. "Yeah bro honestly I easily could've gone D3 bro, but I just wanted to get lit in college with the boyyysss aha aha ahaha"

Asig- "Just smashed a 3 from Chi O bro, lets goooo!" Some call us the basement floor, but I'd like to think of us as more of a 1st floor hotel lobby. You know, cause we're very warm and welcoming and open. Nice guys sometimes finish first, you know!! "Yo Pres, lemme hop on that frat OnlyFans account! I think we might have some leftover dues money!"

Phi Delt- 'Who do you know here!??' type of bois. Hittin' the gym Sat morning for a thicc ass chest pump right before the big pool party. Boutta pull up in my smokin' hot Vineyard Vines crop top and bright yellow-orange Chubbies with a 6-inch inseam that barely covers half my crotch. Just wait till the ladies see these imaginary lats kickin' in full swing. We take more things up our nose than through our stomachs. "Yo toss me some smelling salts bro, I need me a whiff!"

Sig Chi- U Miami's premier Sylvester Stallone Look-Alike Club. Not only do we all look like him, but we all talk like him too. "OUHHOEHEHEOU!!!!" And, funny enough, just like Stallone, our allegations magically disappear when we whip out our wallets in the courtroom. Our gatherings are all Jersey Shore scenes but without the cameras. That explains why every girl at our parties looks like a washed-up Snooki straight outta Bergen County, New Jaawwsey. Lowest GPA on campus. Doesn't matter though, we're gone for now. Does that make our allegations disappear too??

SigEp- Why own a frat house when you can just buy out the SLS Brickell with overseas oil money?? Type of bois to stick the airplane emoji on their IG bios with some words like "Public Figure" or "Entrepreneur" written below their follower count of 600. But hey, anything for the flex, papi chulo. "It's not a pyramid scheme bro, I swear bro, it's called Multi-Level Marketing bro look it up, I'm being my own boss. Only needed a small loan of $7 million from the family trust. #entre #pre #neur."

Had to bump this. Whoever wrote these, they’re all spot on and perfect