confession: i was in a bottom sorority and i hated it

Buckle in. This is a long read.

I was in a lower tier sorority and, while I loved it at first, I grew to resent it. I honestly felt like it held me back from so much- who I felt like I was able to socialize with, party with, run for sweetheart of, at one point, even date. It sucked.

During recruitment, I felt like just because I grew up poorer than other girls rushing and with less knowledge of makeup and clothes that top sororities weren’t interested. I didn’t go to recruitment with my nails done or contour because well I couldn’t afford to get my nails done and tbh still not even sure how to contour. But I found a house that made me feel like it was okay to be imperfect and we bonded over other things. Not that those things don’t matter or aren’t fun. After 2 years in a sorority I’ve caught on to what it means and takes to be in a top tier. Just never had it. Still held back by growing up shy and awkward.

But even so, after the adjustment period, I still felt like I didn’t deserve to date the boy I’d been talking to because he wore better letters than me. I felt embarrassed to tell people which sorority I was in and usually other girls weren’t even nice (or shy) about it. I felt like my boyfriend’s brothers might be nicer to me if I had better letters on. When he cheated on me with a dg and a kappa, I felt like it was because they were in better houses, confident and pretty. Somehow all three of those things were related. So I dropped. And I lost an amazing organization of sisters because of a stupid tier system that only matters because all of us let it matter and no amount of self-realization will change that.