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looking for help

by: .   

I'm a sophomore who went through rush this year but I wound up not getting a bid. Being in a sorority is really important to me and I'm really having a hard time feeling at home here without it. Is it worth waiting until the spring for COB or should I just transfer next semester.

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#1by: Active   
#1    

I think you need to rethink your priorities if you are willing to transfer schools just to be Greek. Being Greek is great, but it's not everything. You are in school for your academics, not for the Greek life. Focus on those. Find friends in your classes, your residence hall, and your major. Join some other clubs on campus. Try for COB in the spring. But it's ridiculous to transfer just because you want to be Greek.

By: Active
by: Em   

OP, I totally understand you feeling left out. I would contact the GL office and sign up for COB, in case chapters need to fill a few spaces this fall. Spring rush is always a possibility, but definitely not a guarantee. So if you still feel this way later in the semester, look at transferring to schools with a less competitive Greek system; you're more likely to get a bid there. Not being Greek at Bama, especially when you want to be, has to be very lonely and heart breaking. Good luck!!

By: Em
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#2by: It's Okay   
#2    

I was in almost the same boat as you. I didn't get a bid my first year but all my friends did. They all hung out with their sisters & I felt like I had no friends. It was really lonely & depressing. To the girl who just said "go out of your way to make friends" that's easier said then done. I joined clubs but people never wanted to hang out outside of the club. Most the people in my clubs were Greek too so after club meetings they'd just go hang out with chapter members. I felt so excluded. I ended up getting a bid the next year. Go through COB! I hope you find your home!! Best wishes! I know it's hard but I promise it will be okay! XOXOXO

By: It's Okay
by: OP   

thank you for making me feel not so alone. I'm praying that someone picks me up through COB.

By: OP
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by: Honestly   

Well I agree with that girl. You have to bounce around until something clicks. That's just the reality of life.

Making friends at Bama isn't as hard as it's going to get in the real world after graduation. Might as well get started on the real world.

And with so many undergrads who are not Greek...saying that you couldn't make friends until you joined a sorority is kind of weird. Sorry but that's what I really think.

By: Honestly
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#3by: Honestly   
#3    

And I'm not trying to be mean here, but it sounds like the problem is you. I don't think transferring or getting into a sorority are going to fix your problems. No offense. You need to work on being social.

On top of that, I have to agree with Advice that most houses don't accept randos through COB. You need to become good enough friends with enough sisters that they can convince the chapter to accept you...which is not easy at all.

If you want to be in a sorority, your best bet would be SDT like someone suggested above.

I agree with the other posters who said that you need to reach out and try to be a friend to others in order to have friends. Are you seriously trying to say that with 30k+ undergraduates, you can't find friends? Yes it's an overwhelming number, but the good news is that there are so many different people on this campus and not all of them are Greek. Only like 33% of undergrads are Greek so it isn't even the majority. Even if you wanted to specifically not be friends with Greeks you'd have like 20k+ friends to choose from...

By: Honestly
#4by: Upperclassman.    
#4    

Okay if you rushed as a freshman & got a bid then there is a 95% you don't understand where the OP is coming from. Girls who got bids as freshman have never NOT had letters. I got a bid as an upperclassmen. Sure it might not fix all her problems when it comes to making & friends & being social but it sure as hell helps. I'm speaking from experience. When you join you have actives who are so excited to have you as new members & who want to make you a perfect pledge class, you have a big, you have a pledge class to meet who is just as excited to be there & meet you too. All the sudden you're surrounded by all these girls who WANT to get to know you. You are with the same girls almost everyday & get to form these close relationships. I'm not saying it's impossible to make friends or anything but being Greek & having a sisterhood makes it a lot easier & if you've never not had letters & not personally had to go out on campus & find your own friend group via clubs & other organizations you really wouldn't understand. Try & get involved as you can OP, meet people, and try COB. Best of luck.

By: Upperclassman.

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by: Op   

Did you get your bid through COB or formal recruitment?? It encouraging to hear that there's still hope.

By: Op
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by: Honestly   

I did not rush as a freshman. I rushed as a sophomore. So yes, I ddi make friends on my own as a freshman and while it's not the easiest thing in the world it wasn't the hardest either...it's not rocket science lol sure it can be emotionally draining sometimes but it builds character and most people have to go through it

And let's just say if I hadn't worked hard and been social enough to make the friend that I did, I wouldn't be in the house I am at now.

By: Honestly
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by: Upperclassman.   

OP I got my bid through formal recruitment but I would check out COB if I were you too!

By: Upperclassman.
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by: Upperclassman.   

OP I got my bid through formal recruitment but I would check out COB if I were you too!

By: Upperclassman.
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#5by: sss   
#5    

It might just be that a big school is not for you and while being ina sorority can help it won't magically fix everything.

By: sss

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