getting cut

Are you still going to pref parties?
Or are you obsessing over a sorority that's no longer in the mix for you?
Grades, involvement, pleasant looks and manners...it's not personal. Sometimes the sorority needs New Members to fill in a certain area...more people from B'ham, less people; more from out of state, less from out of state; more artists, fewer athletes; more athletes, fewer musicians; more top GPAS, fewer education majors...it just depends.
Look at what you've got left, not at what cannot be.

You are not alone in feeling this way. I know people mean well when they say be happy for what you have left, but it's really hard when it doesn't make sense when you see girls that received more or higher ranked houses. I feel I come across very well, I have a 3.4, a lot of community service, and recs. I feel that I'm what most consider to be a pretty girl. I have 2 houses left. Neither are a top choice. My self esteem is at an all time low. I hate even discussing my rush experience with my family and friends. I am from alabama so it's worse as far as the social pressure goes. When I tell discuss what houses cut me I feel so judged from friends/family. They all assumed I would get into much better houses. Let the bashing begin about how I feel entitled and special, etc. I'm just being honest.

So do you just have one pref party or did u just carry one house all week?

My baby sister went through this last year, I went to a different college with a much smaller Rush. It is hard not to take it personally but, DON'T, over 2000 girls! Now that she knows all the sororities, it turns out she is in the house that is a perfect fit and her freshman year was the time of her life. Good Luck and stay positive!!!

So many girls are feeling the same exact way that you are. My roommate and I sit in our rooms and literally cry every night!

I have friends that have already gone through rush at other schools, and I don't even want to look at their pictures! I'm so over it. I have 3 houses left, but none are houses I would have considered before rush. Kill me everyone, but I did feel that I was a better fit for other houses. People from other schools do not have a clue how difficult it is to go through rush here. The competition is like no other. I really feel my friends at other schools had it so much easier. I know it sounds stupid, but I have even considered transferring! Maybe it's just because I'm so worn down. Good luck!

If that house invited you back, and if you have the great qualities you are pointing out, you have an opportunity to really excel in the house that invited you back. Take advantage of that opportunity.

Don't want to come across harsh, but it probably will. There's an old song and the refrain goes like this.... You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you find, you get what you need.

Some people think the matching process is like falling in love. It isn't. There is no one house for you. Give the ladies in the other houses some credit for knowing what type of person would fit well with them. That's why they have invited you back. Feel good that someone sees so much in you to invite you back to pref night. I read a quote on another sight that said "bloom where God plants you". That may be something to think about when making your decisions.

To the girls feeling bad because someone who doesn't meet qualifications was invited back somewhere you weren't:

There are lots of reasons this might happen. The most usual reason is what our house calls a "courtesy invitation." It usually happens when some important person asks us to give special consideration to a PNM. We know she doesn't meet our requirements, but we don't want to cut her the first day so we keep her around, but never intend to give her a bid. That sounds harsh, I know, but it's done with love and respect to the person who asked for the special consideration.

It can also be because that person has a particular talent that we desperately need. For example, a girl with a brilliant singing voice who has a 2.98. Yes, that's below a 3.0, but we need a "voice" to replace the one who just graduated. We'd love to have one with a 3.5, but those girls cut us, so we have to make do.

Or maybe she's a legacy of one of our national officers. We don't want to lower our grade requirements, but we already have our "special permission" from nationals. So we have to.

I guarantee you, it's not that it's just slipped by us that you were better than someone else. Everything is taken into consideration and although sometimes it seems unfair, there's always a reason.

I know that won't make you feel better, but just know there wasn't anything else you could have done, and there wasn't any just random slip up that caused it to happen.