probably don't want to hear this
by: TruthI am just being honest here for the people who might need to hear more than trust the process. There are a lot of amazing sororities at Alabama. However, encouraging girls to trust the process and accept what they get is not necessarily fair. It may work for some, but respect the pnms thoughts too. They also have gotten a glimpse of the sororities. As much as you have gotten a glimpse of them. If a pnm truly feels it was not the right fit respect that! It seems like I keep hearing just be glad you're in a sorority. NOOOOO. Just like someone should find the job they love they should feel good about their sorority choice. The "process" isn't 100 percentt effective for all. It is for many, but please don't encourage pnms to just "feel lucky" they got into a Bama sorority. They need to feel good about it too
#1by: agree
Exactly. The “process” really does seem like a load of BS for most girls, especially OOS / OOR. Girls pull girls that they know that probably aren’t a best fit for the sorority, but because they know them, they get in. The process involves getting into the sorority you want if you know girls, and hoping you get something you slightly want if you don’t know anyone. I
think girls should be evaluated on things other than connections. Going along with the job analogy, it’s not fair if someone the boss knows, who is unqualified, gets the job, but the person that was 100% qualified doesn’t get the job because they didn’t know the boss. It happens, but it shouldn’t. So girls, your feelings are 100% valid. You may not love the sorority you get. It’s fine. See if you like it and you can always drop.
Comment#2by: True
You raise valid points but what PNMs don't see today is that they were cut often because they had
no connections and most likely OOR. "Trust
the process" doesn't make sense to PNMs after IWT (and I don't blame them) but it will at some point whether it be on bid day or closer to initiation or even beyond. I couldn't comprehend "trust the process" while I was going through recruitment...but I do now.
The house you land in generally makes the best sense for you afternthats where you land and you meet the other new members and remember the houses are much more similiar than dissimilar. If you're an Active and don't understand the meaning of "trust the process" it just means you landed in one of your top picks.....and that's not a common theme for OOR PNMs. Actives who always say "trust the process" "earned it the hard way and too, suffered disappointment along the way.
by: Truth
Agree. And this is true for many. I guess my point is it isn't true for all. Many may find their place in a sorority they didn't think they would and love it. But we can't discount those who perhaps really tried to trust the process but it just didn't work for them.
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#3by: Act
Well, I think it's important to note that "trust the process" isn't necessarily the same thing as "be happy with what you got." People raise good claims when they say "you should be lucky you got a bid at all" because quite frankly rush here is competitive and cut throat. There are only so many spots in all the houses. HOWEVER what people are trying to get at when they say "trust the system" is that PNMs should have faith that they'll end up where they're supposed to be and adopt a sort of "everything happens for a reason" mantra. As a PNM, you can only do so much to appeal to certain houses and if they choose not to follow through with you then a PNM shouldn't obsess over it because as one door closes another one opens.
I hope this makes sense. While I do think the OP had good intentions with her post I think that all PNMs should still be open minded to trying different houses. Just because you didn't like a house from the initial 10 minute conversation you had with 1 or 2 actives doesn't mean you should entirely write it off.
by: Truth
I agree. The right house that you didn't realize may pick you. And it could work out great. My point was that this process does not work for everyone.
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by: and.
and not to write off certain houses because of fake ranks and posts by trolls which is often the case. Some PNMs feel they have lost already because they only have a few low or mid tier ranked houses left. We know that there are hundreds of great girls in those houses and they offer a great sorority experience. When people write off the houses because of ranks it is crazy. That is one reason people say to go an give each house a real chance this week. They will most likely be pleasantly surprise.
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by: Act
And I totally agree that the process doesn't work for everyone HOWEVER I think a lot of girls who end up feeling like the process didn't work for them are PNMs who ended up playing the name game and only "saw themselves" in a house that they've deemed worthy (whether it be from ranks, social media, friends, etc). These girls won't even give a different house a chance because they're too stubborn. That being said, I think it's important that ALL PNMs understand that rush isn't always going to work out in your favor. And that's the harsh reality. NEVER accept something you're not truly passionate about BUT you have to at least give it time to see if you truly dislike it or if you were just going along with the hype of things.
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#4by: Refflect
If you are from OOS/OOR and don't know anyone at Bama, then do you really feel that connected to a house where you met about five of four hundred girls and talked to them for a total of 20 minutes?
I was in this boat, and my opinion of houses changed drastically round to round as I met more girls, talked to different girls, observed more etc.
If you get to the end (pref) and are absolutely miserable with your choices, well then I'd have to agree cut your losses. But don't think it will be different next year.
by: Truth
All true. I was just making the point for the few that it could really mean something to. Of course we all want girls to find their place. But their is a percentage (maybe small) that it does not work for. That's all.
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by: Same!
OOR and I didn't know a soul on this campus. 20 minutes during IWTs was useless when it came to rankings that first night. They all blended together. I ended up ranking two houses last, mainly due to tent talk, because I needed to rank them all somehow.
I got both houses back the next day and adored them the rest of the week. I ended up preffing both of them, and would have been happy to get a bid from either of them.
I can't believe I tried to give either of those houses up, but that 20 minutes just isn't enough time to decide anything, sometimes.
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#7by: It's not that deep
A sorority is not a job, an internship, an honor society, a college admission, a social service, or a democratic government. It is a social organization. There are no better 'qualifications' for a social organization than simply being someone the members want to socialize with. So yeah, the people they already know have that 'qualification.' That is sensible, that is appropriate for the situation, and that is completely fair.
#9by: The key
Here is one truth you need to realize if you do not get the house you wanted. All houses are basically the same. Do not imagine it is sssoooo much better in another house and you are missing out on some "even better" experience. All offer a full social calendar and all have a variety of members. All offfer a great Greek experience.
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by: Truth
Exactly. Not saying it doesn't work for some. But definitely not all. Don't acceptt what you don't feel good about. In any avenue of life! Sororities, jobs, men etc!!! It's ok to say no!
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