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anyone else?

by: FeelingS   

I am an active who had a great convo with many pnms.

One of my favorites was very cute with great grades - who I had great convos with and was hoping she would become my little. Rated her high, of course.

The girl had several rho chi friends get bids to my house and I know she preffed my house number one.

But others in the house did not put her on our top girls list and she ended up with her third pick.

Disappointed on both ends!

Any other actives with a similar experience?

And note to pnms - all will work out - but if you are a bit confused, this could be why!!!

Posted By: FeelingS
Page 1 of 1
#1by: pnm   
#1    

Same situation on the other side. dropping out of greek life now

By: pnm

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#2by: sad   
#2    

This is when the process doesn't work. There are dozens or more of girls on retreats who were told to trust the process and who were screwed. They were the total package and they are left in their 3rd choice house that they couldn't drop no matter how hard they tried. How do we improve it? These girls are way better than where they are sitting right now and anyone who says all houses are great are lying because we have all seen those marginal girls that are left over but have to go to a house. Panhel endorses this because everyone who maximizes gets a bid. If that wasn't that case her house might have lots of great girls like her and be fine but they are also carrying a bunch of girls that should have never gotten through. I am sad for my rush crush who is in the same situation cute and easy to talk to with perfect grades. I have no idea how she didn't make it higher on our list or her second choice house but she is now surrounded by left overs.I feel responsible since I obviously don't have the pull as some other girls in my house. The other girls who met her loved her too. sad

By: sad
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by: active   

THIS

Please never guilt someone for dropping or even re rushing next year if they are in this position and you never have been.

By: active
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by: ???   

SURROUNDED BY LEFTOVERS?! What on earth??? These are PEOPLE. 18 year old WOMEN.
Please, tell me what makes your chapter more worthy than this 3rd choice chapter? What makes a girl "marginal"? Which houses are the "left over" houses? These are all matters of OPINION. I could think Sally Southern is phenomenal with her cheer career, student government and church involvement and of course her family name, but Tracy Texas has worked in the family restaurant since she was a kid and has pre-nursing aspirations and she could very well be more appealing to other members of the same chapter or another!
Clearly, you LOVED your rush crush, and unfortunately, the rest of your sisters weren't convinced as much as they were for the other girls. Just because a handful of girls get their 3rd pref choice doesnt mean the whole system is broken.

By: ???
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by: Honey Badger   

Panhellenic should allow girls to drop and COB if they get a bad fit.

By: Honey Badger
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by: chill   

what?? No they shouldn't!! You can't get everything you want in life! No one is stopping you from being friends with girls in the other chapters, but the sorority that gave you a bid wanted YOU in their chapter!! Why doesnt that mean anything to anyone???

By: chill
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by: Honey Badger   

Yo Chill! So you rush a house, meet 4 or 5 talented, intelligent women and you think...yeah, I could be sisters with them.

Then you arrive on bid day and learn that the rest of the house lacks the manners and skills their momma should have taught them. And you wonder if these girls know how to use a mirror. Or an iron.

By: Honey Badger
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by: chill   

honey badger so sorry you think you're so much better than whatever chapter you are referring to. I feel as though you're exaggerating and being extremely superficial.
every chapter has roughly 400 girls in it. i find it hard to believe someone can dislike ALL of them (or deem ALL of them to be unkempt and not pretty enough to be their friend....)

By: chill
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by: Panhel   

Panhel should go to 2 sororitys for pref. This has been done at a number of large schools and seems to work well. No one gets stuck with a third choice. It's easier to accept a second choice than a last place.

By: Panhel
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#3by: Bunp   
#3    

If you were in the situation where you knew a girl was set on your house yet your house still let them go it would be in your best interest to reach out to these girls. It's not fair that the system failed them.

By: Bunp
by: sad   

How would we go about that, this ship has sailed. Would we encourage them to drop where they are? Everyone on here is telling these girls to stick it out or be GDI forever. The thought is they will never be able to have a successful rush next year and they are not eligible for COB - although my house does not do that. There are girls who were left behind and for my girl I am sure she is dying inside in the house where she is. We have her rush buddies here with us and I know she is struggling - she does not belong where she is. My first time through this process and this is a much worse feeling than not seeing other rush crushes on our list who we did rank and want who chose someone else.

By: sad
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by: well   

Maybe find them on Facebook or I Instagram and apologize and explain the situation. For all we know the girl could be sitting in her dorm for the next few weeks wondering what she did wrong. When it was in fact your fault. Shame on you for saying she couldn't have a successful rush next year. Help her move forward.

By: well
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by: ^   

The system didn't fail anyone. This individual member wanted this PNM but her sisters were more impressed with others and wanted them more. One sister's wants do not overrule the 400 other members.

By: ^
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by: Guest   

Also, since this girl got her third choice, she obviously didn't rank high enough with TWO chapters! She might not have even made it to her third choice's first bid list but got a bid as a quota addition. In that case, if she had only listed two, then she wouldn't be Greek at all. Your cgapter and at least one other simply weren't that into her. She's not some perfect girl, so get over yourself!

By: Guest
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#4by: .........................   
#4    

Sorry, but not every pnm is going to get their top one or two houses. That's just not how it works...anywhere. or in any situation outside of rush. are you going to throw a fit if a company hires someone else other than you or the person you wanted to be a member of your company sooo badly??

By: .........................
#5by: Two Prefs?   
#5    

NPC says that 90% of PNM's get their first or second choice and most of the 10% who get their third end up dropping. Is it time to go down to two prefs like a lot of schools are doing now? I know that UGA just did it for the first time.

By: Two Prefs?
by: yes   

Getting your third pick is really so so rare especially considering many girls don't even attend 3 pref parties. We should definitely move to that. It saves everyone time/resources. Most of the girls who drop after bid day are the girls who got their 3rd choice. Get rid of 3 prefs, get rid of girls who don't want to be where they are and save actives the hassle of dealing with them.

By: yes
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by: Guest   

I think psychologically it works better to get your second choice of two versus your OMG LAST CHOICE of three!

By: Guest
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by: also yes   

Statistically this makes more sense.

By: also yes
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#6by: how many   
#6    

how many girls have to list you as a top pick? how many top picks are allowed to be on your house list? i think this happened as well

By: how many
by: ^   

The PNMs who are not on the first bid list (which is the number expected for quota after pref) are in ranked order so they get bids in that order when those on the first bid list chose someone else as their first choice and matched there instead.

By: ^
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by: chill   

so lets quota is 150, and say ABC sorority puts its list of the 150 girls that would make their ideal pledge class. if all those 150 rank them number one, then that is their PC17! Now more than likely, not all of them will put them as number 1. lets say only 100 do, so now they have a list of secondary girls that they still would be so stoked to have be in their chapter, they just didnt make the first cut. Now they will if they ranks ABC as number 1!

By: chill
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#7by: chill   
#7    

ANYONE WHO HASN'T DONE RECRUITMENT THEMSELVES NEEDS TO CHILL.
you act like sorority life is the end all be all of everything. while i will admit, it is awesome to be a part of, the house you run to on bid day isn't everything.
it took my little up until meeting me and getting to know me as her big to fall in love with our chapter (lol i didnt take it personally). Not everyone falls in love with 300 girls instantly.
other people have gotten their last choices on bid day before. Ad guess what, they all survived, they either said it wasn't for them or they kept at it and ended up loving it. you all will do the same.

By: chill
#8by: Guest   
#8    

Girl, you should be supporting the decision of the sisters you already have instead of pining away for this one girl who you've made the epitome of perfection in your mind who clearly wasn't as good of a fit as you thought. Let it go. Be happy with your new members and your sisters who had the foresight to chose them over others.

By: Guest

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