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i'm sad

by: pnm :)   

so my best friend going through recruitment with me just dropped because she only got one house back for sisterhood, and it was the house she had the least connection/feeling for throughout this whole week. she really wants to still be involved in the Greek community, as well as hold positions in a house, and maybe even be a rho chi!! however, she really doesn't know what her best options are moving forward. should she even try for COB? we have both heard mixed reviews about the success rates for COB... or should she just wait and rush again next year as a sophomore? please help and offer real advice, as we are both very sad for her and i want her to be happy and what's best for her!!!

Posted By: pnm :)
Page 1 of 1
#1by: NOPE   
#1    

No sympathy for people who drop.

By: NOPE
by: pnm :)   

why? she only had one house left and she said that all the times she went there, the girls were rude (not looking her directly in the eye, asking the same question more than once, etc), so why would she want to pledge there if she didn't feel valued/welcomed?

By: pnm :)
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by: Question   

If she really doesn't want the one house she should get her grades up, make more connections, and prepare for COBing in spring.

By: Question
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#2by: Jk   
#2    

I would have her go tomorrow and see if she gets them back. Think long and hard before she drops completely. Her mind may change at pref. Cob's are not a good option and rushing as a sophomore is difficult. She has still only met a fraction of the chapter.

By: Jk
by: Jk   

My bad...she dropped...not many options..

By: Jk
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by: pnm :)   

why is rushing as a sophomore difficult? i thought the sororities had to meet a certain quota of sophomores for their pledge classes

By: pnm :)
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by: ^   

A separate upperclassman quota exists so that they don't have to compete with freshmen for bids. No house HAS to offer bids to any upperclassmen, but may choose to pledge up to that quota. The quota number is a maximum, not a minimum requirement.

By: ^
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#3by: Bye   
#3    

If you're friend dropped out of recruitment then I don't feel sorry for her.

By: Bye
#4by: Active   
#4    

Okay this is my story:

When I rushed last year I put a lot of emphasis on tiers, ranks, and reputations. Obviously I wanted to be in the "best" house... But I didn't realize that this website is only a website. I came on here often as a PNM and believed that the ranks on this site were definitive. So when I rushed, I had drastic cuts after IWTs and I only had one house on pref... And it was one of the houses I originally went into rush knowing I didn't want because of where they "rank" and their "poor reputation." However, I stuck through it. I pledged because I KNEW that Greek life was something I wanted to be a part of. It took me a while to actually start liking the house because I was still so dead set that the house I was in was "bad." But as I started meeting more people and as I began to become more open, I realized that sorority life really isn't about ranks and tiers. It's not about who has the prettiest girls or who swaps with who. It's about who's there to support you. Is a feeling of connection with a house important? Yes. But it doesn't always happen automatically. Some people walk into a house and know that's the one, but other people need time to open their eyes to something special right in front of them.

I know your friend dropped but this is for all you other PNMs. Sorority life can be SUCH an amazing and rewarding experience. But it's a two way street. What you put in is what you get out.

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!!! #panlove

By: Active
by: love   

Love this! So true!

By: love
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#5by: Note   
#5    

Hello,

Sometimes being a COB sucks, but two of my best friends were COBs at different houses (good NR house and a good OR house) and they fit in perfectly. They're both so amazing and fit in perfect in both the houses. The girls that are COB's in my sorority were very much welcomed and became part of our family very quickly

By: Note
by: the OP   

thanks for your comment!! I feel like everyone else's comments were negative towards my friend, and that's not what i came on here to find out about. I don't care about their opinion of what she did, I was asking about what her options are in the future. With that being said, what were your friend's COB experiences like? Were they chill? I came on here to find out about the COB process, so would you maybe be able to explain it some? Thank you for your neutral answer!! :)

By: the OP
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by: COB   

I'm a COB and love my house and feel more than welcomed in it!

By: COB
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#6by: For the rest   
#6    

For everyone else... don't drop if you only have one house left! All houses, even the lower ranked houses, are fantastic places to build friendships, get involved, and enjoy social events! Each has around 400 members.... so you will find you niche and have a great time! Remember, you drive your sorority experience, what you put into it drives what you get out of it...no matter what house you are in.

By: For the rest

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#7by: ugh   
#7    

Girls that drop are so foolish.

Houses that did not want you during formal recruitment are NOT going to want you during spring COB. Your first chance is your best chance. Your friend thought she was too good for her one house. She was wrong and they dodged a bullet.

By: ugh
#8by: GoGreek   
#8    

Your friend should go to the Panhellenic website after rush and fill out the COB Interest Form. Panhellenic will distribute the forms to chapters eligible for COB. IF the chapter is interested in your friend, they will reach out to her and invite her to one or more informal events to get to know the chapter better. Just because she fills out the form does not mean she'll be invited to any COB events. She will probably have better luck if some of the chapters she chose not to go back to are COB-ing. I doubt chapters that just cut her will suddenly be interested next week, just being honest.

COB is an opportunity for chapters under "total" (a number set by Panhellenic that is kind of like average chapter size) to get their numbers up to that amount. Not every house will be eligible every semester nor will every eligible chapter choose to participate- i.e., if a chapter is 1 member below total, they might directly extend a bid to an active's roommate who is super tight with a bunch of girls in the chapter. It seems like there is always a little more COB action in the spring because chapters need to replace members who graduated early, transferred, etc.

I know you think most of the responses on this thread have been harsh, but the truth is your friend may have just given up her chance to be Greek. All of the chapters offer the same sorority experience - living in the house, big/lil sis, participating in Greek events, formals, swaps, etc.

By: GoGreek

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