filler

I would want my daughter to be happy making her own legacy not trying to walk in the foot prints of mine. I would never expect my future daughter to pledge the house I'm currently in just to honor me... I mean, would it be special? Yes. But she's still my daughter either way. That being said, I think it's a nice gesture for houses to keep legacies around longer however I think the ultimate decision should solely be on the PNM and if she doesn't feel like she would fit in then she should accept a bid at another house.

bump

I feel you mom. But if DD can only get into an OR house on your legacy, then takes a bid even though she does not really fit, what good is really being done? Would she not be better off letting the process work naturally so she is matched with a house that truly wants her for her and not based on obligation? If she lands in a "lower ranked" house than the legacy house, this is not a negative reflection on you or her. It is simply that the composition of the houses change and that in the year she went through recruitment the best fit for her as a person was somewhere else.

Remember that this is your student’s recruitment experience. Be supportive and let your student choose what is best for her.

It's a hard one.

My mom let me make up my own mind, knowing her legacy house didn't fit me. She went to a different college.

There is one girl particularly in my house, a legacy, that stands out as a really "bad fit". But she is just 'over the top happy' she is in her legacy you house. She cant imagine it any other way, although I don't get it.

In the end we are both happy - as we made the choices we each wanted.

I'd say it only gets questionable when a girl takes a legacy although she really doesn't want to and feels "forced" in some way.

I'm an old troll who comes here infrequently and never posts, but this triggered a memory of my sorority experience I feel compelled to note.

I went to a different school, smaller houses relative to membership, and rush involved going to rush parties at all the houses. A different era and please don't take this the wrong way, but at several of the 'lower' houses, there was a girl who just stood out as "not like the others": the only one who's parents belonged to a country club, who drove a much nicer car than the other girls, dressed better, was better mannered, more reserved, etc. And what I remember most is that everyone knew and admitted it. Really, there was open dialogue! Basically, oh yeah she's "rich" and adding "she is a legacy" that's why she is here.

The "different" girls did seem happy! So I'll give you the if that's what they want arguements.

But to me they were detached, at the perimeter and observing. It just made me sad and I remember it vividly today. Two different houses, two specific girls.

I realize this isn't exactly how it would play out today. I'm more the Sixteen Candles era. But a mom who couldn't do this to my daughter based on that recollection.\n\n\n\n\n