where is the sisterhood???
by: current active
Hey everyone! I know this site is pretty full with rush posts this time of year, but I just feel like I need to vent about something regarding my sorority and see if any other actives have been through the same thing.
I feel like my sorority's sisterhood is not strong and that I don't have a family of 400 girls who are there for me. There are tons of cliques in my house (which is normal, I'm aware), but tons of my sisters act like they don't even want to speak to me in public. I can't count the number of times where I have passed directly by a sister on campus only to be ignored; when I say hey first, a lot of them unwillingly respond. I have a group of great friends in my house and I try hard to be friendly to everyone. It's just discouraging when it seems like so many of my own sisters act like they are too good for everyone.
I feel like getting curved in public by my sorority sisters is worse than getting curved by a cute guy lol.
Just wondering if you guys have had sisterhood struggles of your own.
P.S. Good luck to all PNMS and actives this year during rush!
#1by: :(
I'm actually really sorry that thats happening to you. I know that all sororities have cliques (It's literally impossible not to break into smaller groups when theres over 400 of you) but I didnt know this happened within sororities. My houses sisterhood is by no means perfect but we would never ignore one another!
You should talk to your sisterhood chair about planning more events that you guys have to group up with people you don't normally talk to, so yall can break your groups up a bit! Also hopefully after rush (assuming youre only going into your sophomore year) you all will get along and get to know each other better after being trapped together for 2 weeks. Best wishes and panlove!
Comment#2by: same
from the moment we went on the pledge retreat I felt like there was already groups and I wasn't in them. it was hard to feel like the odd one out because my trial big wasnt really involved or outgoing so I kind of had to fend for myself. Initially it didn't feel like my sisters were super welcoming, but I may have been reading too much into it. After first semester I guess I found my "clique" and I get along with my whole pledge class way better now!! It just takes time to get to know each other.
#3by: same
I am in the same boat. My big and I do NOT get along and she basically ignores me now. Hopefully it will be better once I have my own little but for now I feel like I hang out with independents/girls from other sororities way more than girls from my own. I don't want to drop I just wish I could find a friend group in my own house but everyone else seems to already have theirs.
#4by: Active.
Honestly, when I joined a sorority I really thought it was going to be like how it is in the movies - everyone knows your name, everyone says hi to each other in the quad, and everyone is connected. But now after two years, I see that it's not like that at all... At the end of the day everyone has their own lives. Some girls are super attached to their sorority so they just throw themselves into whatever and get to know everyone personally. However, most girls aren't like that. Most sorority girls are just doing what their sorority requires of them just to go to the social events and just to have letters in their insta bio. That being said, I think the sisterhood aspect of sorority life is greatly lost among chapters across the nation... I joined a sorority to be a part of something bigger than myself, but to me it just seems like I'm just another number lost in a crowd. I mean don't get me wrong, I love my house and I love the friends I've made and I even love the girls in my house that I don't know too well because at the end of the day we're still sisters... However, I just feel that all houses can work a lot harder on the sisterhood aspect. I know lots of girls just feel like piggy banks in their house. Also, I think a big reason why sisterhood is so hard to improve at sororities at Alabama is because the size of pledge classes and chapters in general are just too big... You should feel connected with all the girls in your house, not just a handful in your pledge class.
#5by: X
I 100% do not mean this to belittle anyone's experiences or say that you're not trying your best to be a part of you house, but honestly sometimes I think when girls feel like their house has a bad sisterhood it has a lot more to do with how they perceive things than how they really are.
I think to really feel like you're a part of your house you need to put yourself out there. Get involved in the house, sit with new people at meals, hang out there between classes. I think most houses won't go out of there way to make every single girl feel like they are the most special, wonderful person on earth (bc there's 400, it's impossible). But what you put in you get out. I think there's a cycle where girls don't feel like they belong so they spend less time at the house and with sisters, and because of that they genuinely start to not belong.
by: .
Perceiving bad sisterhood = bad sisterhood. When women pay thousands upon thousands of dollars to social organizations and then "perceive" it to be unhelpful socially, that is on the organization, not the people paying dues.
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by: act
No matter how involved you are, there will always be girls you don't know, there will always be a lack of togetherness in a group of 400 girls, etc. You can try your best to be as nice and sisterly as you can, but if the other girls aren't then your efforts mean nothing... And that's where Exec can come in and help girls learn to build meaningful relationships with one another. Obviously, I know it's a two way street, but as of now, Exec doesn't do much to facilitate anything.
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by: X
@act you are totally right, I think a better way to point my point would be (like you said) it's a two way street. Some girls don't put in the effort and then complain that their house has a bad sisterhood as if everyone else is supposed to do all the work, and some girls put in a lot of effort that isn't reciprocated.
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by: insta
Since instagram introduced the whole "loving" comments thing I feel like responding to compliments isn't necessary, but following definitely is. Especially if you follow them first. It really really bothers me too.
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by: Yes
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by: don't worry
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