please please be honest

I am not naming my chapter but yes, it is cliquey and one of the 4 you named in your list. I still like it but don't like the way we rush and only look at certain people from certain schools. it's very who you know and I wish I could meet more new people. so there it is.

Redefine what you consider a "good" sorority. Should you really consider chapters that are notoriously cliquey and excluding to be "good" because someone on a website told you they are? Should you really think a chapter is a "not good" sorority because they don't have the same "status" as others even though they have better grades, sisterhood, etc.? Think hard about it before you rush.

KD, AGD, and DDD were/are First Circle, which is like the most Old Row-y of Old Row (Old row is a fairly new things for sororities anyways). They had "always" had history of being the oldest and most prestigious, with KD being more social, AGD more Christian and academic "good girl" and DDD being the mix between the two. But starting in the 2000s, with more OOS coming to Alabama, other sororities like Kappa, PM, AXO, started looking more at OOS girls and started to climb. Before, when you had only 40 girls per PC, you could fill them with exclusively in-state debutantes. Now, houses like KD, Kappa, AGD, XO, and DDD still get a core group of debs, but have to fill in 100+ spots. Kappa, XO, and DDD started jumping on Southern OOS debs whereas KD and AGD just kinda filled their class with middle class in-state girls who would love the First Circle name brand. Kappa/XO/DDD are strong in OOS Southern states so those girls didn't care to be associated with KD/AGD as much. Then Kappa and PM started concentrating on Northern/Western OOS rich girls.

The cliques in AGD, DDD and KD are mainly based on wealth, with some of it being in-state vs. OOS. I've heard of middle class Alabama girls complaining about being ignored. PM bids girls who are super competitive and high-strung, so that can cause friction. Kappa isn't any cliquier than other sororities I feel. Lots of friend groups based on geography, but there isn't hate or big drama.

AXO, AGD, DDD, KD, KKG, PM, XO are all Old Row. A lot of girls pledge these houses just so they can gain that status, even though the prestige of being Old Row has long faded. That being said, these houses are great for girls to pledge if they want to be with their high school friend group, being that all these houses recruit girls primarily from Alabama and surrounding Southern states. As stated above, this creates friction within pledge classes. Most girls from one area who pledge a house together don't want to expand their friend group so they shut everyone else out, causing cliques. The instate girls look down at the out of state girls and don't put in the effort to bond with their sisters. This is seen in especially KKG, KD, AGD, and XO, the houses that still recruit instate and Southern girls extremely heavily. AXO, DDD, and PM have these cliques but they're not as extreme.
I think it's also important to note that a lot of girls who do pledge Old Row houses don't do so for the sisterhood but rather the social perks. Obviously not every girl is like that, but a lot are. The "Old Row" type of girl is most of the time expected to rush by their parents/grandparents and thus want a "good name." Rush for them isn't about where they feel comfortable, but rather where they have the most friends pledging and which house can give them the best social perks.

and I most definitely do not want an SAE on my arm or anywhere else.

As for number 2, I can count on one hand the amount of girls I've seen at SAE date parties that weren't in an old row sorority. Most girls who go to those date parties are KDs and kappas. And I have some friends in "lower tier" sororities that have been talking to boys, told them what sorority they're in, and had the boys literally stop talking to them mid conversation because of their sorority. It's shallow and unfair, but don't act like it doesn't happen. Boys will hook up with anyone, of course they don't care what sorority. But for date parties, girlfriends, etc unfortunately a lot do care. Just how it is

Old row sororities are cliquey. They hang out with girls who are from their state only. Kappa especially

My sorority isn't cliquey at all. Of course people establish groups, but are always nice when they see their sisters on campus, at the house, at a bar, etc.
Old Row is not better than New Row in any shape or form. There are good Old Row houses and good New Row houses.
Keep an open mind when you are rushing. Even if you are from the south and think you are expected to go Old Row, there are plenty of amazing southern girls in New Row houses as well.

Can honestly say I don't think I've ever seen an sae around campus wearing letters and the one party I went to was lame, don't know why people care about them

I'm tired of people saying that old row houses have bad sisterhoods compared to new row. everyone seems to think we're overly cliquey, especially in state vs OOs. first of all, if you claim that your house doesn't have cliques, you are lying. with pledge classes so big, of course groups are going to form. no one sneers at you from across the dining room, no one ignores you when you see them around campus. they're literally just friend groups. so what if a group of MB girls still want to hang out together?? why is that any worse than a group of girls from different states that want to hang out together. I'm OOS and from a house that is considered heavily instate, but we still have TONS of OOS girls. none of the instate girls are rude or snobby. every instate girl has found OOS friends, but there's nothing wrong with them still staying close with their old friends. maybe my house is different from other old row houses, but most of the posts that claim that the instate girls ruin our sisterhoods, are extremely inaccurate. there are some old row houses with amazing sisterhoods and some with bad ones, just like there are some new row houses with amazing sisterhoods and some with bad ones.