got none of my three back and dropped
by: sadgirl
I went into recruitment so excited to be involved with greek life and meet new people. I am a sophomore and a transfer student, so I was really looking forward to finding new friends from different places. My recruitment went decent, I think I got dropped from a lot of my top houses because of my gpa.
Once 9 party rolled around, I was pretty happy with how things went and thought it would go well. I thought I would of HAD to get at least ONE of my houses back and I got none. I looked at my list and only had two chapters that I really did not see myself meshing with the girls at all and just could not see myself as a part of those chapters. I know I should have given them another chance, but I was beyond over it at this point and if they weren't amazing me at first I didn't think my thoughts would change that drastically after one final round, they were literally at the bottoms of my lists. I know a lot of you will criticize me for dropping, but I have just felt completely hopeless and devastated all day.
I really could not see myself in those two chapters that I got back and didn't want to have to "try" or "force" myself to like the sisters just cause I felt like I needed to be in greek life. But now, I just feel so lost and extremely upset. I don't understand what I did wrong to change those 3 chapter's minds in those last rounds. Anyone else in the same boat???
Comment#2by: Follow YOUR Instincts
Sadgirl - Please DO NOT listen to the comments here! If you did not feel a connection to the two houses who called you back, why should you force yourself to like it? Chapters are allowed to drop you if they don't feel you fit in or they don't feel a connection to you, shouldn't the reverse be true?
If you gone forward, accepted a bid and initiated you would NEVER be able to join another sorority in the future. Who knows, maybe you will have an opportunity next year.
Also, Greek Life is great and there are Social benefits BUT it is not the only way to attend IU. You can still go to frat parties, if that's what you are looking for, you will still get invited to formaldehyde and dances, you can still participate in Little 5 and IUDM. You can fund a philanthropic club and get your philanthropy that way.
Quite frankly, it's sad that SO MUCH emphasis is put on Greek Life at IU. Greek Life is only going to be a VERY small snapshot in your life.
Don't you agree that it is kind of awkward that somebody else picks your "best friends" for the next 3 1/2 years of college? Find your friend group the NORMAL way and make that YOUR sorority.
by: One more thing
6) A lot of us have friends in chapters that get ranked "# 8 and 9" often. We know these girls and we know that recruitment isn't the most representative time of what they are like. They are actually kind, sweet, amazing women. So yes, it's extra annoying when girl after girl is unkind to them in return.
I'm personally sick of the entitled attitude a lot of PNMs have, and I'm not surprised other people are too. Sorry not sorry you're not as special as you think you are.
If this is their first big disappointment in life, then they have been very sheltered so far. If it's not then they should know how to deal with it and move on. This is real life, not a movie or a fairytale. Many times you don't get exactly what you want.
- 18
- 3
#3by: Follow YOUR Instincts
Sadgirl - Please DO NOT listen to the comments here! If you did not feel a connection to the two houses who called you back, why should you force yourself to like it? Chapters are allowed to drop you if they don't feel you fit in or they don't feel a connection to you, shouldn't the reverse be true?
If you gone forward, accepted a bid and initiated you would NEVER be able to join another sorority in the future. Who knows, maybe you will have an opportunity next year.
Also, Greek Life is great and there are Social benefits BUT it is not the only way to attend IU. You can still go to frat parties, if that's what you are looking for, you will still get invited to formaldehyde and dances, you can still participate in Little 5 and IUDM. You can fund a philanthropic club and get your philanthropy that way.
Quite frankly, it's sad that SO MUCH emphasis is put on Greek Life at IU. Greek Life is only going to be a VERY small snapshot in your life.
Don't you agree that it is kind of awkward that somebody else picks your "best friends" for the next 3 1/2 years of college? Find your friend group the NORMAL way and make that YOUR sorority!
by: Honest
1) It's fine for her to do that but then complaining about it is pretty hypocritical and annoying, especially since recruitment =/= real life and the only real way to tell whether there is a connection would be to try the new member period.
2) Let's be real, her chances next year are significantly lower.
3) Of course you don't have to be in Greek Life to have a good time. So stop complaining if things didn't work out. It gets old and annoying very quickly, let alone the 100000000th time we hear someone complain that omg "3 out of 23 chapters dropped me my life will never be the same."
4) Make your own sorority that way? Hahahahaha. Now you just sound bitter. Either go Greek or don't. Both are legitimate and fun at IU. But "make your friends your sorority" just sounds like you're encouraging her to focus on this instead of moving on appropriately like a normal person.
5) OP, I'm sorry this didn't work out the way you wanted, but the truth is that you made the decision not to go Greek. I hope it wss the right one and you enjoy the rest of your time at IU. Time to move on to other things.
- 8
- 2
by: One more thing
6) A lot of us have friends in chapters that get ranked "# 8 and 9" often. We know these girls and we know that recruitment isn't the most representative time of what they are like. They are actually kind, sweet, amazing women. So yes, it's extra annoying when girl after girl is unkind to them in return.
I'm personally sick of the entitled attitude a lot of PNMs have, and I'm not surprised other people are too. Sorry not sorry you're not as special as you think you are.
If this is their first big disappointment in life, then they have been very sheltered so far. If it's not then they should know how to deal with it and move on. This is real life, not a movie or a fairytale. Many times you don't get exactly what you want.
- 5
- 2
#4by: sadgirl
I think a lot of you don't understand what actually happened. I got dropped by a LOT of my chapters that I was going to give a chance. For 16 party I only had 12, for 9 party I only had 6, and for 3 party I only had 2. My options were very slim and kept decreasing a lot. Every party my houses that I really liked kept dropping me, so I was really becoming lost. I gave EVERY chapter a fair chance and enjoyed talking to all of the girls, everyone was super sweet to me.
Were some convos very awkward?? Yes. & that is what I received from my final two chapters. I did not mesh with the girls, I could not see myself hanging out with them. I think there is NOTHING wrong with me feeling that way, so why should I force myself through and pretend like I am bffs with them?? That is not fair to me and not fair to them. I gave them chances throughout all of my rounds besides 3 party. So it honestly is not fair to be bashing on me for this and saying i think im special. They were great people, but i PERSONALLY did not feel a connection and I should not be bashed for that. If houses can drop me because they dont see me fitting in, then why cant i do the same? Doesn't really make much sense.
by: Ok
So then why are you complaining? You did the same thing to those chapters that the other chapters did to you. You don't get to complain about that.
I'm sure the chapters that cut you had their reasons too...maybe you were perceived as too awkward for them. Just because you think you'll fit in somewhere doesn't mean you actually will, and the sisters of any particular chapter know who will fit in with them best. I'm sure you're great, but I'm also sure that there are reasons you only got called back where you did.
As a relevant counterexample: I can think I should get into an Ivy League school all I want, but at the end of the day if the admissions committee doesn't agree, then I'm not going to go there. I would then have the choice to take the next best thing (a college that actually wants me) or not attend college at all.
If I had decided that because I didn't get into an Ivy League school, I didn't want to attend college at all...it would have been annoying for other people to hear me complain about it when they know very well that there were other schools that were offering me a chance to attend.
At the end of the day, if you decided you wanted nothing over what was offered to you, then that was your choice and you're within your rights to make that choice. But there is no use in dwelling or complaining about it. You chose not to go Greek. Get over it and enjoy the rest of your years at IU.
- 9
- 2
by: Ha
Just because someone has a different and more mature outlook than you does not make them a mom. I'm pretty sure I made one of the posts that you're referring to, and I am not a mom.
Also, you throw mom out like it's some insult but I love my mom and we're close. Moms actually have really great perspectives because they have more experience, and I would think that they could give good advice to any young woman.
- 9
- 0
#6by: Seriously .....
by: Ha
Exactly. I'm not sure why girls feel like they can complain about this. What goes around comes around, and you got hit. Deal with it...it's called life.
- 16
- 1
by: Ugh
People are just butthurt that they didn't fit in where they thought they should fit in. But the fact of the matter is that you can't force people to like you and you can't force them to accept you. The houses made their decision and it was that they didn't want the OP and she didn't fit in with them.
- 15
- 1
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by: Honest
1) It's fine for her to do that but then complaining about it is pretty hypocritical and annoying, especially since recruitment =/= real life and the only real way to tell whether there is a connection would be yo try the new member period.
2) Let's be real, her chances next year are significantly lower.
3) Of course you don't have to be in Greek Life to have a good time. So stop complaining if things didn't work out. It gets old and annoying very quickly, let alone the 100000000th time we hear someone complain that omg "3 out of 23 chapters dropped me my life will never be the same."
4) Make your own sorority that way? Hahahahaha. Now you just sound bitter. Either go Greek or don't. Both are legitimate and fun at IU. But "make your friends your sorority" just sounds like you're encouraging her to focus on this instead of moving on appropriately like a normal person.
5) OP, I'm sorry this didn't work out the way you wanted, but the truth is that you made the decision not to go Greek. I hope it wss the right one and you enjoy the rest of your time at IU. Time to move on to other things.
- 22
- 3
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