Fraternities as types of Dads

Not my ranking and not a ranking!!!

DKE- Legacy CEO dad. Went here, his dad went here, owns a boat and opinions
Elmo- Scary dad. Doesn’t say much, but when he does everyone shuts up.
Hall- Old-money, emotionally unavailable dad. Loves you. Never says it.
Zete- Southern dad. Loves football and guns, big on tradition and respect.
Phi Psi- Political dad. Knows everyone, loves power, very into networking.
SAE- Peak-in-college dad. Constantly reliving “the glory days.”
Sig Chi- Country club dad. Golf, nice watch, friendly but competitive.
Chi Phi-
Ksig- Divorced dad. You don’t see him often, but when you do, it’s a mess and it’s awesome.
SNU- Clout-chasing dad. Cares way too much about status and comparisons.
Beta- Tech/startup dad. Smart, slightly awkward, secretly loaded.
Sammy- Bare minimum dad. Present-ish, effort inconsistent.
DU- Grad school dad. Intellectual, a little pretentious, means well.
Theta Chi- Video game dad. He’s more into video games than you and sits on his butt while your mom does everything.
DSig- Teen dad. Young, fun, a little irresponsible, but he’s the one who stepped up.
Pi Kapp- Chill suburban dad. Shows up, grills well, good vibes.
Phi Society- Control freak dad. You better not stain the couch
Phi Delt- Gay dad. Weirdly has the best girl advice and is actually the coolest of the dads at school. All the moms love him.
Chi Psi- Fun dad. He’s going to take you to trampoline parks, amusement parks and act like a kid with you.
Serp- Creepy dad. Don’t leave your girlfriend alone with him, he’s going to say something weird. Can’t get over your mom who divorced him but parades around your “stepmoms” (his girls of the week)
AEPi- Religious hypocrite dad. Uses religion when it suits him and to control you but doesn’t care about or abide by the basic tenants.
Asig- Fallen off the deep end dad. Your mom divorced him and you’re glad. What he has become after is even worse.
ATO- Gym dad. Protein shakes, routines, “discipline builds character.”
Pi Lam-Judgmental dad. You’re never quite enough.
Sig Pi- Midlife crisis dad. Bad decisions, questionable advice.
SigEp- Welcoming dad. He loves when you have friends over and makes lots of snacks. You kind of just want him to leave you alone though.
ZBT- Secretive dad. You don’t ask questions because you don’t want answers.