dear pnms... (plus a note to my panhel ladies)

Dear PNMs,

As a sister who is almost an alumna of her chapter, I've been looking back on when I was in your shoes just a few short years ago... Here are some of the things I wish I knew, and what I learned throughout the process:

You are going to hear "trust the process" about a billion times. Remember it, and take it to heart. Throughout the process I had this pre-conceived list of who I wanted, and the chapter I ended up in was probably my third or fourth choice in the beginning. I was dropped from my "top" chapter after sisterhood round, and had a new top choice every day after. I listened to the "keep an open mind" mantra, and by the time bid day came around running home felt like I really WAS home.

Your Rho Gammas are going to help you in every way they can. Talk to them! They will give you their truly honest and unbiased opinions about chapters, but your rankings are ultimately up to you. On my preference night I thought I knew what I wanted, only to switch my ranking order following the rounds. My Rho Gamma, who let me talk through what I was feeling and encouraged me to do what felt right to me ended up BECOMING MY SISTER THE VERY NEXT DAY.

Your friends will talk about the chapters they are getting back, and they'll talk to you about yours. That's honestly one of the main reasons I was so unsure after my preference rounds, and ultimately why I switched my ranking that night. I ended up exactly where I was meant to be, and I could not have been happier with my greek life experience.

The biggest advice that I can give you is to focus on where you feel as though you fit in; where you feel the most comfortable being your genuine self. If you keep getting called back to a chapter, yet don't feel as though you could see yourself forming a deeper connection with any of the women you are meeting? It's okay to rank them lower than other chapters that you can see pursuing a more genuine connection with.
This is why we do mutual rankings (something you will learn about at PNM Orientation). Be confident in your decisions and rank based on your CONNECTIONS with the women in the room rather than the name on the door.

Don't switch up your personality or your stories to make yourself more interesting to certain chapters over others. The best way for you to have an amazing greek experience is to let all the chapters see you for who you really are, and when you're in a round be sure to focus on the chapter you're in instead of asking for their opinions on another chapter. You need to get to know your potential sisters just as much as they need to get to know you!

Side note, to all my ladies already on the sister side: If you ~are~ asked a question about another chapter by one of our beautiful PNMs, let's show a little #panhellove for one another! (Because we've all seen what happens when we don't...) At the end of the day, we are all one community! Even if your "rush crush" goes to Apple Beta Psi or wherever, wouldn't you want her to be in a place where she can truly thrive and be her best self?

Good luck to all sisters and PNMs!!