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University:  University of Rhode Island - URI

Greek Organization:  Sigma Alpha Mu

Author:  Lambda

Comment:  Sammy always gives off that “we swear we’re lowkey elite” energy… but nobody actually asked. They’ll tell you they’re “selective,” but somehow everyone knows at least three random kids from their hometown in it. They try to act mysterious and exclusive, but it’s more “group project that never met before the due date” vibes. And the social presence? It’s like they’re constantly almost about to have a huge moment… and then it just kinda doesn’t happen. You hear the hype. You never quite see the result. They’re not bad — they just feel like they’re permanently in their “rebuilding year.” Every year.